Claude Makelele to face Chelsea ban if he does not come out of international retirement for France
Chelsea midfielder Claude Makelele could be hit with a two-match ban for his club if he does not play for France in the Euro 2008 qualifiers. France coach Raymond Domenech
has refused to accept Makelele's international retirement and has named
the 33-year-old in his squad to face Georgia and Italy next month.
Claude Makelele to face Chelsea ban if he does not come out of international retirement for France continued
Refusing an international call-up is punishable with a two-game
domestic ban and Domenech is threatening to take the matter all the
way. He said: "For me it would be unthinkable to see a great player
playing for a great club not playing for his national team. I spoke a
lot with Claude and told him that he was not obliged to come and play
with us, but also that it would be better if he did feel obliged to."
It all seems a bit petty to me. Makelele is unlikely to be around
for the next World Cup and probably won't even be at Euro 2008. If the
guy has had enough or feels his body can't take international football
as well as club football anymore, then give him a break. Serial retiree
Henrik Larsson should consider himself fortunate that
the Swedish FA is more understanding or he would hardly have played any
club football! What say you, Bratwurst readers? [Via BBC Sport]
England's goalscoring beanpole Peter Crouch could be the inspiration for tennis star Andy Murray
at the US Open, according to his American coach. Brad Gilbert has told
Murray to introduce the RoboCrouch as his new celebration.
Gilbert said: "I’m getting more into soccer and I love that Peter
Crouch, he’s my favourite, he’s an awesome guy. I said to Andy he ought
to try that robot dance when he wins a match. He thinks I’m losing it."
The idea might not be taken on board by the Scottish tennis player who
was reportedly seen in a Paraguay shirt shortly before England's World Cup opener. [Via The Sun]
The Bratwurst pickle: What effect does juju have on football?
Just a couple of days until the new season kicks off and the big question on everyone's lips, of course, is: what effect does juju have an football? Well, maybe not in Britain but it is in Zimbabwe. In fact, Coventry-based NewZimbabwe.com columnist Muzondiwa Mugadza (pictured) is "constantly" asking himself this question.
In his latest column, former Zimbabwe national team goalkeeper Mugadza recounts his experiences of African voodoo on the pitch, including the time an Ivory Coast player threw some powder at his face during a match. Click here to read the article.
Uruguay still the champions of the world after beating Egypt
Congratulations to Uruguay who are still the unofficial world champions after a 2-0 win over Egypt last night. The match was Uruguay's fifth defence of their UFWC title since they took the championship from Romania in May this year. A goal from Diego Goodin (pictured here assisting Peter Crouch to score) and an Abdul-Zaher Al-Saqqa own goal were enough to secure a comfortable victory for Uruguay.
Real Madrid and England part-timer Jonathan Woodgate
has proven that being aloof has helped him in his battle against
injuries. Asked about his top three finishes in both the 3,000m and
15,000m races as part of Real's pre-season training, a straight-faced
Woodgate replied: "Well, I'm a naturally fit lad." I wonder if the Real
physio would agree? [Via People]
Coup de Boule: Zidane headbutt song tops the French music charts
The French, it seems, wait until after the World Cup to put out the
football-related DIY ditties. Three previously unknown jingle writers
are topping France's charts with Coup de Boule (Headbutt), which unsurprisingly is about Zinedine Zidane's World Cup final antics. The song has sold 150,000 copies, and a further 100,000 have been downloaded.
TalkSport presenter Mike Parry (pictured) has been revealed as the knight in shining armour who bought half-time snacks for a cash-strapped (oh the irony!) Victoria Beckham. Parry, who looks a lot like a distorted picture of Noel Edmonds, gave Posh €20 during an England World Cup match when he realised she had no money to buy chips for Brooklyn and Romeo. [Via Guardian]
Three Lions on his shirt means immigrant could be coming home
A Senegalese man travelling on a forged passport has been arrested in Cyprus after being given away by his England
shirt. Border officials between Turkish north Cyprus and Greek south
Cyprus became suspicious when the 22-year-old arrived at the checkpoint
wearing an England kit but using a French passport.
A police source said: "Being a football fan, the officer found it
highly unlikely that a Frenchman would want to wear an England football
jersey." Further checks showed that the passport was a fake. The man
has not been charged but has been remanded in custody pending further
enquiries. [Via Reuters]
The World Cup stars who never made it on to stickers
With a little help from the Panini sticker designer we told you about the other day, Bratwurst gives the unsung heroes of Germany 2006 a chance to get where they belong: in your Panini album!
The World Cup stars who never made it on to stickers continued
Goleo
This loveable exhibitionist had a very lively build-up to the
tournament, went quiet in the early stages, but turned it on when it
really mattered. Who will ever forget his heroics in the penalty shootout against Argentina? He will be able to dine out on that for a while, which is just as well because he is skint!
Terry Butcher
Butcher seemed to give more interviews than Sven during the
tournament. If England did something, Terry could pick fault with it.
"England have had their cereal this morning with skimmed milk. I would
have gone for semi-skimmed, but that's the problem you face when you
have a foreign manager," he might have said.
Franz Beckenbauer
The Kaiser put in the hard yards (although they were made much
easier by his helicoptor) to ensure that the host director could fill
any lull in the game with a picture of a proud looking Beckenbauer
watching on over his tournament. Also found time to star in the Adidas +10 adverts with a little more hair than he currently has.
Graham Poll
The old saying is that the mark of a good referee is that nobody
notices him. Well, everybody in the world knows Graham Poll. Draw your
own conclusions from that. Mr Poll is appearing in this Panini
collection in the colours of his adopted nation of Australia rather
than his native England.
England WAGs
England WAGs: collect the whole set. Some would say that the now
infamous group of shopaholics made a bigger impression on the World Cup
than their husbands and boyfriends (HABs?). Zidane got a three-match
ban for his headbutt, but this lot were so naughty they are banned from
the next World Cup completely.
German fan shows what not to do with World Cup tickets
You have probably queued for hours or ran up a huge telephone bill
in a desperate attempt to watch your country play in the World Cup on
homesoil. You have parted with your hard-earned cash and are on your
way to the game. Ask yourself then, is wafting the World Cup tickets
out of your car window as you speed along the Autobahn the brightest
thing to do? Probably not.
Poor old Zinedine Zidane has been having a rough
time of it lately. I honestly thought today might be the day to leave
the Zizou humour alone for a while... but that was before I found this
video!!! We have already shown you the cat sniper and Mortal Kombat theories, but here Peter Crouch and Homer Simpson get in on the act too!
We highly recommend that you head over to sister site Who Ate All the Pies to find out who's won the World Cup's inaugural Unfair Play Awards, aka the Golden Elbow. Surely the magnificent Zindeine Zidane (pictured) can't add the coveted Elbow to his Golden Ball?
This is a compilation of some of the funniest moments of the World Cup courtesy of the BBC. Presumably the video was put together by the missing Chuckle BrotherMark Lawrenson - that man knows what is funny.
Zinedine Zidane's already infamous headbutt on Marco Materazzi
has led to some copycat behaviour. It is not impressionable youths
doing the Zizou though. This Austrian man has being going round asking
tourists to give him their best Zidane.
Zinedine Zidane's already infamous headbutt on Marco Materazzi
has led to some copycat behaviour. It is not impressionable youths
doing the Zizou though. This Austrian man has being going round asking
tourists to give him their best Zidane.
Irish travel firm cashes in on the Zidane headbutt
Irish travel agency Stein Travel has wasted no time in taking advantage of Zinedine Zidane's moment of madness. The company used the image below on its weekly email bulletin and has now but the image on their website too!
Irish travel firm cashes in on the Zidane headbutt
Irish travel agency Stein Travel has wasted no time in taking advantage of Zinedine Zidane's moment of madness. The company used the image below on its weekly email bulletin and has now but the image on their website too!
Australian World Cup referee Mark Shield
is promising to get angry in a bid to be assigned to higher profile
games at the next World Cup. The 32-year-old said looking stern is the
way to find favour with FIFA, citing World Cup final referee Horacio Elizondo as an example.
He said: ""A lot of the time it's a facade. A lot of the referees
that are in the World Cup are nice fellas, they are good blokes. But
they've got an angry look, which I have also got as well, which you
need as part of your refereeing." Don't worry, you look scary enough
already on your official FIFA photo, Mark! [Via The Australian]
Australian World Cup referee Mark Shield
is promising to get angry in a bid to be assigned to higher profile
games at the next World Cup. The 32-year-old said looking stern is the
way to find favour with FIFA, citing World Cup final referee Horacio Elizondo as an example.
He said: ""A lot of the time it's a facade. A lot of the referees
that are in the World Cup are nice fellas, they are good blokes. But
they've got an angry look, which I have also got as well, which you
need as part of your refereeing." Don't worry, you look scary enough
already on your official FIFA photo, Mark! [Via The Australian]
Baddiel and Skinner created The Adventures of Cristiano Ronaldo during Euro 2004, but as he is now everybody's favourite whipping boy they are worth having another look at. Here is C Ron shopping for shoes, playing Twister, playing in a paddling pool, starring in a pantomime and, in the video below, starring in Basic Instinct.
Arrests a kick in the balls for concrete football artists
Two
Austrian art students have been arrested in Germany after their World
Cup project injured at least three people. The pair, aged 26 and 29,
had placed 16 concrete-filled footballs (pictured) each weighing 15kg around Berlin surrounded by signs asking 'Can you kick it?'
A number of passers-by obliged and two were hospitalised with foot
injuries. The men will now face charges of causing bodily harm,
dangerous interference with traffic and causing injury through
recklessness. [Via Spiegel Online]
FIFA successfully generated a following for the World Cup in the USA by overhyping their team on a scale that put Sven Goran Eriksson to shame. But after Team USA's first round exit, how do you maintain the interest? One possible solution is the introduction of landmine soccer!
A disgruntled Manchester United fan has put Cristiano Ronaldo up for sale on eBay.
Bidding for the only footballer to spend more time on the ground than
Emile Heskey reached £10,000 before the online auction house decided to
put a stop to the fun and removed the item.
Click below to read the seller's spiel.
"Cristiano Ronaldo cheating goofy england hating portugezer, requesting first class ticket out of england.
unfortunately not welcome within 120 miles of Manchester.
Requires good accomodation with torture chamber and enjoys 23.5 hours a
day on the rack.
Will never be allowed access to the UK ever again so if purchased, a holiday to England is out of the question.
If you are the unfortunate sucessful bidder your life will not be worth living.......we will find you!!!!" [Via The Register]
A dishevelled looking Goleo
seems to have ditched his mate Pille the ball to hook up with this
Portuguese girl. The World Cup mascot (who will be most fondly
remembered for his match-winning exploits in the penalty shootout between Germany and Argentina) looked very rough and had obviously not combed his mane for days.
Disharmony within the France squad is threatening to undermine their final with Italy on Sunday. It appeared coach Raymond Domenech had got the group to work together, but it now seems veteran defender Lilian Thuram - man of the match in last night's semi-final - has stolen his boss's trademark glasses!
England could face Germany in the third place playoff on Saturday after a Portugal player allegedly failed a drugs test following last night's semi-final against France.
If the player's B sample is confirmed as positive, under FIFA rules -
paragraph 6 sub section 2e - Portugal will forfeit their quarter final
match and England will play the hosts instead. Click below for full
details.
Breaking News: England to play Germany!!! continued
Carlsberg don't do blog posts, but if they did they would probably be the best blog posts in the world.
Not gay at all footballers Part II: Miroslav Klose and Lukas Podolski
"It's lovely to see two strikers playing with each other."
David Pleat, ITV summariser
After yesterday's revelation that Cristiano Ronaldo is not gay at all, it was great to hear David Pleat's outing of Klose and Podolski during his commentary last night.
Ricky Gervais' good luck message to England featuring Crouch and Rooney
Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, writers of The Office, put together this good luck message before England's match with Portugal. The video looks at a striking partnership overlooked by Sven Goran Eriksson in Germany.
BBC tennis journo brings a flavour of Bratwurst to Wimbledon
BBC tennis journalist Tom Fordyce seems to be taking a leaf out of Bratwurst's book when it comes to live blogging (not surprising really as we are masters of this art). Fordyce is currently live blogging Andy Murray's match with Marcos Baghdatis at Wimbledon.
Early in the match and he has compared Murray to Bob Dylan,
Baghdatis to a Spice Girl and picked fault with Jimmy Connors' dress
sense. A Bratwurst t-shirt and a BBC redundancy package are on their way to you, Tom.
Former France star Youri Djorkaeff
has fallen foul of the official World Cup broadcaster's love of finding
a famous face in the crowd during matches. Djorkaeff is likely to be
sacked by current club Red Bull New York after telling them he was attending a family emergency when his grinning face was beamed around the world!
A Red Bull NY spokesman said: "We were told by Youri on Thursday,
June 29 that he had to leave the team and attend to an unexpected,
serious family matter in France. At no point did Youri state that part
of his trip was to attend the World Cup game between France and Brazil
in Frankfurt, Germany or that he had any ill-feeling towards the
organization." [Via Reuters]
Just a couple of days ago we were wondering if World Cup mascot Goleo has done anything in the tournament so far. It turns out his main job is to put off opposition penalty takers - and to good effect.
This picture, taken from a video of the penalty shootout, shows our trouserless friend lurking behind Jens Lehmann as Roberto Ayala steps up to take his ill-fated penalty. Click here to watch the full video.
How many other football blogs give you a bit of matchday genealogy in search of a good omen? Well, Bratwurst does and it seems that the family crest of Sven Goran Eriksson (left) is far superior to Big Phil Scolari's
(right, obviously). There is definitely more than a hint of St George
about Eriksson's crest, while Scolari's looks like a warning sign.
Clutching at straws? You bet! [Crests via House of Names]
Oleg Blokhin, the Ukraine coach, has made the claim of
the World Cup thus far. In the build up to their game with Italy,
Blokhin said "We will eat Italy with great appetite." Sorry? What was
that? You'll eat Italy? He then rambled on: "I am very unhappy. There
have been too many yellow and red cards
awarded and lots of inexistent penalties. This is football it's not the
Bolshoi ballet so I have warned my players to avoid some bad tackles."
Can anyone help me out with this?
Chinese commentator's crazy rant against the Socceroos – and you thought Ian Wright was biased
Associated Press
reported that Huang Jianxiang, commentating on Italy v Australia for
Chinese television, was quite happy with the dubious penalty award in
added time. Watch the video and then click below to read the
translation of his Anti-Aussie rant…
Chinese commentator's rant against the Socceroos – and you thought Ian Wright was biased cont…
Jianxiang is quoted as saying: 'Penalty! Penalty! Penalty! Grosso's done
it, Grosso's done it! The great Italian left back! He succeeded in the
glorious traditions of Italy! Facchetti, Cabrini and Maldini, their
souls are infused in him at this moment! Grosso represents the long
history and traditions of Italian soccer, he's not fighting alone at
this moment! He's not alone!'
And after Francesco Totti scored the spot-kick…
'Goal! Game over! Italy win! Beat the Australians! They do not
fall in front of Hiddink again! Italy the great! Left back the great!
Happy birthday to Maldini! Forza Italia! The victory belongs to Italy,
to Grosso, to Cannavaro, to Zambrotta, to Buffon, to Maldini, to
everyone who loves Italian soccer!'
'Hiddink … lost all his courage faced with Italian history and
traditions … He finally reaped fruits which he had sown! They should
go home. They don't need to go as far away as Australia as most of them
are living in Europe. Farewell!'
Huang also commentates on Serie A. 'I'm more familiar with Italian
players … and I don't like Australians indeed,' he said. 'I was
hoping they'd do badly here.'
FIFA Poll: Switzerland v Ukraine was more exciting than England
According to a poll on the official World Cup website, the boring 0-0 draw between Switzerland and Ukraine followed by the worst penalty shoot-out ever was more exciting than England v Ecuador!
Hopefully someone is trying to have a joke at FIFA's expense, but if
nearly 3,000 people actually thought Switzerland v Ukraine was the most
exciting match of the second round that is worrying.
And users of the BBC website have also been using interactive polls to make their point, with six England players in the bottom 10 of the Beeb's Player Rater results.
Paul Robinson is still confident England can win the World Cup
The cynics among you might argue that Ramsay Street's one-legged villain would make a better goalkeeper than our own Paul Robinson
on current form! But if England's Paul Robinson and the two
centre-backs get a little understanding, Sven could find the perfect
blend. And - according to the theme tune - 'that's when good Neighbours become good friends.'
An artist has carved the faces of some of England's World Cup stars into melons. Amrat Parmar, aged 64, from Leicester has produced melons featuring David Beckham, Wayne Rooney and Steven Gerrard.
He said: "I took a woodcarving course and someone asked me if I had
tried carving melons - and when I tried it - they came out really
good." The carvings - which are expected to last about a week - are
currently on display in local pubs. [Via BBC]
England fan sells Best Man role at wedding on eBay because it clashes with England v Portugal
Some English guy really, really doesn't want to miss England v Portugal on Saturday. He's selling his role as best man at his mate's wedding on eBay. The dastard! If you're interested in bidding (current bid is £51), then click here.
(He's already written the speech, so you don't have to worry about
that). I guess this is a joke, but you can't be too sure with some
football fans…
Only joking, tennis is for wimps – but what the hell are we supposed to
do now? It's the first day without World Cup football for almost three
weeks. I can't take it! I'll automatically tune in to ITV at 3.45pm to
find… Rio Bravo, starring John Wayne and Dean Martin. Good film, but it's no Togo v Switzerland.
This
person is without doubt my fan of the weekend. As with all Dutch footy
fans, they made a huge effort to turn out completely in oranje.
This fan had also got their face painted like a big brave ferocious
lion... only to be later seen on TV, infront of millions and millions
of people viewing... crying. A big, brave, pathetic lion faced crying
machine. If you're going to sob on telly, don't do it dressed like this.
Bratwurst awards ceremony for the World Cup losers
Just like the headteacher at a failing school's awards evening, here at Bratwurst we want to make sure that nobody goes home empty handed. This is our awards ceremony full of token prizes for those teams whose World Cup dream is now over after first round elimination.
Join us in this celebration of mediocrity and allow me to hand you over to our host with most: Mr Mick McCarthy.
The Award for having most players in the second round without qualifying And the winner is: Poland The Poles may be out, but Lukas Podolski and Miroslav Klose are still flying the flag (the German flag though).
The Award for best Premiership blast from the past And the winner is: Paulo Wanchope (Costa Rica) The gangly forward is reportedly angling for a return too.
The Award for talking a good game And the winner is: Paraguay They were all mouth before the tournament and didn't deliver.
The Award for outstanding effort And the winner is: Trinidad and Tobago Nobody expect anything other than three heavy defeats for T&T and they proved everyone wrong.
The Award for being the best team not to qualify for the second round And the winner is: Ivory Coast Gave an excellent account of themselves, but the Group of Death was a bit too deadly for them.
The Award for messiest World Cup divorce And the winner is: Serbia & Montenegro S&M will go their separate ways now. Not sure who gets the kids.
The Award for worst World Cup haircut And the winner is: Loco (Angola) No need for any comment here.
The Award for the participating country most likely to get bombed by America And the winner is: Iran Unless George Dubya has been wooed by their carpet pennants.
The Award for furthest distance travelled downhill after an opening match And the winner is: Czech Republic So full of promise after whipping the USA, but it all ended in tears.
The Award for the coach with the more plausible name for a World Cup venue And the winner is: Bruce Arena (USA) "Welcome to the Bruce Arena in Frankfurt for today's game between..."
The Award for most referees eliminated from the World Cup And the winner is: Croatia With a little help from Mr Poll himself, of course!
The Award for giving Brazil a scare before getting thrashed And the winner is: Japan You can never keep Ronaldo down. Weebles wobble but they don't fall down.
The Award for most French hearts put in mouths And the winner is: South Korea They nearly sneaked through after that late equaliser against Les Bleus.
The Pierre van Hooijdonk Award for most strikes threatened And the winner is: Togo If only they had spent as much time on the training ground as they had at the negotiation table.
The Award for packing midfield and not scoring enough goals And the winner is: Tunisia Couldn't change their system even when they needed a win against Ukraine.
The Award for most surnames in a squad beginning with 'Al' And the winner is: Saudi Arabia No fewer than 12 of the Saudi squad were Al something.
Socceroo/AC-DC fan Archie Thompson auditions for World Cup Pop Idol
After the Socceroos' splendid 2-2 draw with Croatia last night, Australian sub Archie Thompson,
clad in a fan's Everton shirt (tribute to Tim Cahill, I guess) showed
off his musical skills by grabbing a corner flag and belting out AC/DC
standard TNT, a no-nonsense rock classic that features the lyrics: '
See me ride out of the sunset, on your colour TV screen/Out for all that I can get, if you know what I mean.'
A football-loopy landlord has turfed the inside of his pub for the World Cup, after a bet with sceptical regulars, who said England wouldn't escape Group B. James Banbury reckons the Old Swan, in Kibworth
(Leicestershire), is now unmatched as a place to watch the action in
Germany. He says: 'It took me a few hours to do, but the response I've
had from the punters has been good. Everyone who has walked in and seen
the grass has burst out laughing. The lawn covers one of the pub's
three bars. Banbury has even painted pitch markings on the grass,
complete with a penalty area (Aaargh, don't mention penalties! Ed.) [Via This Is Leicestershire]
Sven admits he should have cut out Sweden's near post corners
Football pundits around the world owe David Beckham an apology this morning after Sven Goran Eriksson admitted that he was responsible for clearing near post corners. During the England v Sweden match it appeared that Beckham's poor positioning on corners had created Sweden's opening goal and almost led to another.
However, it now seems that in fact Sven should have been watching for flick-ons at the near post. He told the BBC: "We conceded two bad goals and, if you want to find who is to blame, blame me please." [Via the BBC]
Portugal's Ricardo and Caneira kissing in the goal
Portugal goalkeeper Ricardo and defender Caneira got caught up in the moment during their Group D
decider against Mexico. The pair enjoyed a quick snog and a cuddle in
the goal to celebrate Ricardo's save from Omar Bravo. Big Phil Scolari
has obviously got team-bonding going very well in the Portugal camp.
Safari park bosses have warned visitors to remove England flags from
their cars after a group of baboons began stealing them. The patriotic
critters have built up an impressive collection of flags in the monkey
enclosure at Knowsley Safari Park in Merseyside. [Via Monkeydaynews]
Maradona's Hand of God goal, recreated on Nintendo Entertainment System
Not sure what prompted Wadeblogs to recreate Maradona's infamous Hand of God goal on a crappy Nintendo console, but you have to admire the accuracy of the recreation, if not the graphics…
Just a couple of days until the new season kicks off and the big question on everyone's lips, of course, is: what effect does juju have an football? Well, maybe not in Britain but it is in Zimbabwe. In fact, Coventry-based NewZimbabwe.com columnist Muzondiwa Mugadza (pictured) is "constantly" asking himself this question.
A disgruntled Manchester United fan has put Cristiano Ronaldo up for sale on eBay.
Bidding for the only footballer to spend more time on the ground than
Emile Heskey reached £10,000 before the online auction house decided to
put a stop to the fun and removed the item.
