Who Ate All The Bratwurst

Virtual World Cup: yesterday's matches

Spain 0–1 Ukraine A cracking Shevchenko scissor-kick just before half-time settled this game, which ended just a bit differently to the corresponding game in the real World Cup.

Tunisia 1-1 Saudi Arabia Tunisia had much the better of the match but couldn't turn their superiority into goals.

Germany 0-1 Poland The hosts are in big trouble in the Virtual World Cup, with two defeats in their first two games. Jens Lehmann let Maciej Zurawski's tame shot slip through his hands, the big dummy.

Virtual World Cup: Brazil 1 – 2 Croatia

A major shock for the samba boys, with Croatia picking up a 2-1 win, thanks to first-half goals by Prso (he was great yesterday, a tireless workhorse up front for Croatia) and Pranjic. Adriano pulled one back in the 60th minute, but it wasn't enough for the Brazilians, who put in a lethargic performance (sound familiar?).

Virtual World Cup: France 2 – 0 Switzerland

In the real world, we got a 0-0 bore draw – the worst game of the tournament so far, no question; in the virtual world of Pro Evolution Soccer 5, Zinedine Zidane struck twice, once in each half, to give France an easy victory. Alex Frei's red card early in the game doomed the Swiss.

Virtual World Cup: South Korea 0 – 1 Togo

A very, very dodgy penalty decision (it was never a foul ref!) saw World Cup debutants Togo run out 1-0 winners in the first of Group G's match-ups. That said, South Korea played like a bag of arse. They hardly had a shot on goal and blatantly didn't deserve to win.

Virtual World Cup: Italy 1 – 1 Ghana

The Italians dominated the match and took the lead through Gilardino on 51 minutes. But Ghana (aka Cameroon because the Ghanaian national team isn't in PES5) hit back in added time to snatch a 1-1 draw. The jammy sods (I say jammy, 'cause it was me that was playing as Italy).

Virtual World Cup: USA 0 – 0 Czech Republic

The second goalless draw of the day, virtually speaking. Described by Pro Evolution Soccer commentator Peter Brackley as 'a pulsating game' but me and my mate Matt, who are playing out the Virtual World Cup for your enjoyment (and our's), would beg to differ. A dull stalemate.

Virtual World Cup: Australia 0 – 0 Japan

Very few chances in this Group F opener. I wouldn't be suprised if the score this afternoon was also 0-0 – neither team has a world-class striker to rub between them. In fact, I'm off to bet on a nil-nil draw right now (thereby completely ruining any chance of that happening)…

Virtual World Cup: a whole bunch of matches 'cause we got a bit behind…

So what with the scorching weekend and the England game and other distractions, the Virtual World Cup was temporarily relegated to the subs' bench. Now it's back in the Bratwurst starting XI. Here are the results from the matches that have been played in the past two days:

Sweden 3 – 0 Trinidad & Tobago In the real world T&T hang on for a famous 0-0 draw; on Pro Evo 5, Sweden give them (them being Venezuela, cause T&T aren't actually in the game – hey, we had to improvise!) a football lesson, with goals from Ljunberg (38) and Ibrahimovic (61, 82).

Argentina 1 – 2 Ivory Coast The Africans have Eboue sent-off after Drogba's early goal but play a blinder. A  terrific Kalou solo effort in the 84th minute cancels out Crespo's equaliser and the Ivorians snatch a late win.

Virtual World Cup: a whole bunch of matches 'cause we got a bit behind… cont…

Serbia & Montenegro 0 – 1 Holland Same result and scoreline as in the real world, but with Ryan Babel getting the winner, rather than Arjen Robben.

Mexico 1 – 0 Iran Again, same result as the real tournament, but with less goals. This time, a Borgetti header in the second half settled a tight game.

Portugal 2 – 0 Angola A Pauleta second-half double saw the Portuguese run out comfortable winners against Nigeria in this case (no Angola in the game, unfortunately).

There we go, up to date again. More results to follow later today…

Virtual World Cup: England 1 – 0 Paraguay

Another tight match (as I expect it to be for real this afternoon), with the teams separated only by a David Beckham strike in the 30th minute. C'mon England! If Sven's boys can pick up the same result later today, that'll be just perfect. Based on previous Virtual World Cup games, however, I'm a wee bit nervous.

Virtual World Cup: Poland 3 – 2 Ecuador

Ecuador took a 2-0 lead in the first half and things were looking good for the South Americans – but then they had a man sent off, prompting a Polish second-half comeback and a 3-2 win for Poland.

So this is going well then: if you compare the results of the Virtual World Cup so far with the results of the real World Cup, we're 0/2.

Virtual World Cup: Germany 0 – 1 Costa Rica

So me and a mate will be playing out the World Cup – as it happens – on Pro Evolution Soccer 5, the greatest football videogame in the world. First up, naturally enough, we played Germany v Costa Rica, the tournament's opening game. After a tight contest which could have gone either way, Costa Rica nicked a 1-0 victory, thanks to a Paolo Wanchope header in the 57th minute. Shocktastic!

Virtual World Cup. Players wanted!

I thought it would be rather cool to get a bunch of gamers from each of the 32 competing nations and play out a Virtual World Cup – on the same day as the actual games are taking place – on Pro Evolution Soccer 5, by far the best footie videogame out there. If you play Pro Evo, have an Xbox Live account and are interested in taking part, let me know. See you on the battlefield in June…

Ollie, Bratwurst Editor