Who Ate All The Bratwurst

In another life... Joachim Low

In another life, Germany's brand spanking new manager Joachim Low would be a Just For Men model. There is no way his hair is naturally that colour! If Jurgen Klinsmann's former assistant is not displaying some grey hairs after a couple more games in charge of Germany then we will know for certain that something is amiss. Having said that, 13-0 victories over San Marino are unlikely to have Low reaching for the dye again just yet.

[Rob Parker]

Horror Hair: The Wes Brown / Rio Ferdinand braid timeshare

No sooner has Rio Ferdinand got rid of his braids (much to Bratwurst's approval) than they show up on the head of England and Manchester United team-mate Wes Brown. And Rio is now sporting Brown's no-nonsense close crop, which makes you wonder if there is some kind of hair timeshare or rotation system going on in the England dressing room. Next we might see Joe Cole's mop on Paul Robinson, or Frank Lampard's thinning baby orangutan hair on Ashley Cole.

Rob

Horror Hair: Darren Peacock

Before long hair and ponytails became all the rage with Latin footballers, there was Darren Peacock. The former Newcastle United centre-back had consistently bad hair throughout his career. His flowing locks looked like a hangover from a youth spent listening to heavy metal bands. Apparently he now lives in Portugal, which shatters my image of him gigging around tiny pubs as lead guitarist in a The Darkness tribute band.

Rob

Horror Hair: Niklas Bendtner

While writing for our sister site Who Ate All The Pies, I have unearthed some up and coming Horror Hair talent in the shape of Arsenal youngster Niklas Bendtner. The 18-year-old Dane bravely confronted his Arsenal team-mates (and the general public) with this slicked back, greasy, shoulder-length car crash of a haircut. Sadly Bendtner has now removed his Horror Hair in favour of something a little more subtle, but he is definitely one to watch for the future.

Rob

Horror Hair: Dusan Basta, Crvena Zvezda

Crvena Zvezda eased past Cork City 4-0 on aggregate last night to set up a tie with AC Milan in the next round of Champions League qualifying. More impressive than the victory was the Horror Hair sported by midfielder Dusan Basta. Basta looks like Pavel Nedved on a bad hair day, which is saying something.

You probably think Basta is not a big-name player, but he does have his own website. In fact, he has two - www.bastadusan.com is his officially website and he also owns www.dusanbasta.com just in case you get lost on your way there! The site features a video profile set to dodgy Serbian dance music and a fairly basic online football game.

Rob

Horror Hair: Ray Houghton

It's not a wig, I promise! Former Republic of Ireland World Cup hero Ray Houghton seems to have placed a ball of wool at the centre of a classic Alan Hansen cut. Houghton's hair got so big he even tried to flatten it down during goal celebrations.

Rob

Horror Hair: Henrik Larsson

Serial retiree Henrik Larsson has had an unusual career. He spent his peak scoring for fun in a league he was too good for, he only moved to a major club when he was nearly 33, and when he had the chance of one last season at the top he moved to play in his native Sweden. The only thing we can be sure about is that he would have been even quicker in his prime if he had favoured his current bald head over the horrendous dreadlocks he sported.

Rob

Horror Hair: Jason Lee

"He's got a pineapple on his head," went the chant. Poor Jason Lee was getting stick for haircut while David Beckham was just a teenager (probably) trying sarongs on for size behind closed doors. It is hard to expand on the chant much - it did look like he had a pineapple on his head. Decent pictures of the pineapple in all its glory are difficult to come across, but this should give you at least a tropical fruit flavour.

Rob

Horror Hair - Ralph Coates

Once upon-a-time, Ralph Coates, Spurs blockbusting midfield general, was not only aping Sir Bobby Charlton's comb-over, but gunning for his step-over in the England side. Unfortunately for Ralphy, his hair did very little to disguise the fact he was going bald. Very very bald. Bless'im!

Mof Gimmers

Horror Hair: John Dempsey

We have featured some very dodgy haircuts on Bratwurst over the last few months. A trawl through our Horror Hair section makes Elton John's ginger wig look like the height of salon sophistication. Few, if any, of our featured bad barnets come close to John Dempsey's effort though.

The former Chelsea player tried to combine the Bobby Charlton combover with a woman's bob cut. It also looks a bit like he is wearing a comedy arrow-through-the-head underneath his hair to give the required volume!

Rob Parker

Horror Hair - Uwe Rosler

Uwe Rosler is quite topical at the moment. His side took on the pathetic Newcastle. It's also the month for dodgy German goings on at Manchester City (Didi Hamman's oddball move from Bolton... Uwe just had a bad mullet). With that, his bonce needed a feature, and what a lovely bonce it is. Business at the front, party at the rear. I do wonder if the rumours of his grandfather bombing Old Trafford are true.

Mof Gimmers

Horror Hair: Adekanmi Olufade, Togo

Science is fantastic, isn't it? To think that we are now so far advanced that toupees are now available in dreadlocks is absolutely incredible. Meet Adekanmi Olufade of Togo who is sporting Africa's version of the Bobby Charlton combover.

Rob Parker

Horror Hair: Jan Polak, Czech Republic

Czech Republic scapegoat Jan Polak was sent off just before half-time in today's game with Italy for possession of an offensive haircut. The referee decided it was too much for the crowd to put up with for another 45 minutes. Polak's hair consists of a bleached blond mohawk, a separate blond strip of hair down the back and his natural dark brown hair cropped underneath. Lovely!

Rob Parker

Horror Hair: Fabricio Coloccini, Argentina

Fabricio Coloccini has sadly not yet blessed this World Cup with his hideous white man's Afro. He probably won't want to either until the weather improves after seeing the state of Carlos Puyol's curly locks after 90 minutes in the rain last night. He now seems to be balding on top creating a centre-parting in his Afro. At least when he grew it a bit longer he could do a great impression of those little trolls.

Rob Parker

Horror Hair: Romaric

Thanks to Djibril Cisse's leg break, Mr Romaric here is getting the spotlight shone well and truly on his barnet. The Ivory Coast's midfield man is always guaranteed to stand out of the crowd with his weird blonde hyroglyph hairdo. It's dreadful. He's even done his beard... but god love him for it.

Mof Gimmers

3’s SeeMeTV service is calling for fans to upload their video blogs of and about the World Cup. Contributors earn 1p every time their video is watched by someone else on 3. More info at www.three.co.uk

Horror Hair: Fernando Torres

Fernando Torres may well be a fantastically gifted player (I should hope so, he's in my fantasy team) with a lethal finish on him... but boy oh boy, his hair stinks. From the front it is an unassuming crop... but from the back it resembles half a dead hairdresser. This is what is known as a 'Pomoulle'... that's a Post Modern Mullet mashed together... and Torres has the best/worst I've seen at this years World Cup.

Mof Gimmers

Horror Hair: Luis Valencia, Ecuador

This doesn't look that bad here… but Luis Valencia's hair is pure soul glow. Everytime this boy touches the ball, my mind is flooded with the chorus from Rockwell's 'Somebody's Watching Me'. This boy shouldn't be playing football, he should be in a club in 1986 doing the bump with Denise from The Cosby Show. Subtle shimmering genius.

Mof Gimmers

Horror Hair: Loco, Angola

There is a terrible pun staring us in the face. However terrible it may be, it's still unavoidable. He is Loco, and you'd have to be 'loco' to think that dreaded fringes stranded amongst the shaved bonce is a good idea. In full flight, Loco's hair looks like he's sneezed his own comedy moustache off, and on to his forehead.

Mof Gimmers

Horror Hair: Christian Wilhelmsson's Rat Tail

Well done to Trinidad and Tobago for holding Sweden to a 0-0 draw - a formidable feat with 11 men let alone 10. Unfortunately T&T's exploits were overshadowed by the horrendous hair-do of Sweden's Christian Wilhelmsson. The rat tail flopping at the back of his head was reminiscent of Roberto Baggio's 'Divine Ponytail'. Congratulations to Christian for being our first Horror Hair of Germany 2006.

Rob Parker

Horror Hair: Kevin Beattie

Good shitting crikey. Look at him. Beneath those tousled pre-raphelite locks was a player more than happy to snap your legs in two. He scored a goal for the England side against Scotland and probably would have gone on to greater things if he hadn't kept on mashing his own legs up through injury… and boiling chip pans.[Mof Gimmers]

Horror Hair: Leonardo Cuellar

I know nothing about this man. The scant facts in my head are this: He's Mexican, he played in the World Cup in '78 and I think he has something to do with the ladies Mexican team. We don't really care about this though. It's his insanely fantastic rebel/freedom-fighter hairdo, which unfortunately didn't put the fear up the opposition enough. Todos granizaron el pelo brillante!

Mof Gimmers

Horror Hair: George Berry

What do you do if you're not the tallest player in the team? Well, if you're George Berry, you grow your hair as tall as you can to make you nearly seven foot of mean-assed central defender. Berry is still a legend at Wolves, and was capped by Wales. He was actually born in Germany, and it would seem that he inherited their fondness for wild hairstyles. Bless you George, bless you. [Mof Gimmers]

Horror Hair: Ian Wallace

Coventry City striker Ian Wallace proves you don't need a name as exotic as Carlos Valderrama to be able to pull off the ginger afro look. It looks like it had been carefully lowered on to his bald head shortly before the photo was taken.

Rob Parker

Horror Hair: Gerry Francis

Gerry Francis was, believe it or not, a fine player. He played for England and nearly took QPR to their first ever league title. Alas, that's not what I remember him for. In his early days, he had a strange mod haircut which looked like he'd been victim of a wig thrown from the top floor of a block of flats. Then, in the mid seventies, he found a hairstyle and never looked back. The Mullet. For nearly thirty years, Gerry has kept his hair the same (apart from thinning a bit). It's a look that says 'Business on top, and a party at the back'. Salute him. [Mof Gimmers]

Horror Hair: Roy of the Rovers

Possibly England's greatest ever striker. Roy Race, star of Melchester Rovers scored about a gazillion 'Racey's Rockets' and played in the top flight for about 40 years. Not bad eh? Unfortunately for Roy, playing all that time means you go through many fashions. During the seventies, Roy stopped looking like a footballer and started looking like someone from glam rockers The Sweet. Later in his career, he got to star alongside one of the Kemps from Spandau Ballet AND lost a leg. You couldn't make it up.

Mof Gimmers

Horror Hair: Barry Venison

People are quick to forget that Barry Venison once donned the England shirt. Barry is once quoted as saying 'I'm not a natural blonde, but I love the hair… I love the stick I get…' Suffice to say, he loved it so much that he got his flowing mullet cropped for a job beside Gabby Logan (nee Yorath) on ITV's panel. Jessie. We'll not even mention his dodgy taste in clothes. Mof Gimmers

Horror Hair: Umit Davala

We have given coverage to the disastrous mohawks of Clint Mathis and Christian Ziege, but Turkey's Umit Davala's effort is something else. He sacrificed his long hair at the 2002 World Cup after having difficulty controlling it in the humidity. He instead opted for a very wide and very long mohawk creating his very own mini-Davey Crockett hat in the process. Click the link below to see the hair from another angle.

Rob Parker

Horror Hair: Umit Duvala

Poor old Turkey Umit Davala highlights the dangers of humidity and a willingness to follow the crowd. The midfielder is now retired from football and planning to go into politics.

Click here to buy his rap album UD 2004!

Horror Hair: Gianluca Vialli, Italy

The majority of men look much better with hair. Gianluca Vialli is not one of those men – going bald was the best thing that ever happened to him. Vialli's 1980s 'clown wig' deserves at least three red cards and a season-long suspension.

EXCLUSIVE! Bruce Arena has stolen Tommy Hilfiger's hair

The veteran USA coach has blatantly committed a hair crime of the first degree. Hilfiger has sported what I like to call 'the super-flick' for at least 150 years – the designer must be furious to see Arena ripping him off. Who knows what else Arena plans to steal in his relentless bid to help Team America escape from the clutches of the evil Group E? It's a goddamned outrage!

Horror Hair: Clint Mathis

Fair to say that not many people outside of the States remember players from any USA World Cup squad. If you do, it is usually for one of three reasons. They played in England (Cobi Jones, John Harkes) or they had daft names (Tab Ramos, Alexi Lalas). Lastly, the reason you recall 'em is baaaaad hair. Cobi Jones is another contender, but streaking into the lead is Clint Mathis. Clint's hair, original that it is, could be a tribute to bargain-bin confectionary – Iced Gems. Mof Gimmers

Horror Hair: Bobby Mihailov

Hair matters to a footballer. It helps them to stand out on the pitch. Of course, some of them get it woefully wrong (or right, depending on your sense of humour). There is one player who is a cut above (or below) the rest of the shock mops.

Bobby Mihailov didn't sport a bad haircut as such. In fact, he didn't have much hair to speak of at all. Y'see, Bobby was as bald as a Brazilian (wax). To rectify this, he went and got hair implants and out sprouted lovely sprigs of curly black hair. Of course, it was his handsome follicles that got him a deal in England to play in Reading, and not his questionable 'keeping skills. Mof Gimmers

Horror Hair: Tony Daley

Tony Daley liked to keep the hair off his ears. But he wanted to be stylish and have a bit of length to play with. So he came up with a strange 'do' which resembled a pot noodle covered in oil in a wind tunnel.

Daley played against the mighty Brazil and did, well, bugger all, and was then part of the team that didn't qualify for USA '94. He wasn't capped again. I blame the daft hair. Mof Gimmers

Horror Hair: Trifon Ivanov

Bulgaria defender Trifon Ivanov found the perfect haircut to top off his drunken tramp look. His long straggly locks give his scruffy beard, sunken eyes, broken nose and gormless expression a real edge. Remember when Robbie Fowler nasal strips were all the rage?

Rob Parker

Horror Hair: Antal Roth

See this man in the middle? This is Antal Roth of Hungary. This is the only picture I can find of my favourite Horror Hair of all time. Roth and team-mate Peter Disztl, were the two stars of my Mexico 86 sticker album. Both sported stupidly huge beards for playing in the notoriously warm Mexico, and more importantly, both looked exactly the same.

If anyone has a better picture of the two, or would like to scan their sticker album in, email it me and we'll post it up. Mof Gimmers

Horror Hair: Marco Etcheverry

Footballers love nothing more than a deceptively bad haircut (think of Roberto Baggio's hidden ponytail, for instance). What makes the hair of Bolivia's Marco Etcheverry so infuriating is that you can see the half-decent haircut at the core.

Everything to the ears is fine, unfortunately below that it looks like somebody has superglued a poodle to his head. Does this hairstyle have a name? If not I hereby name this hair-do the permed Latin mullet.

Rob Parker

Horror Hair: Kasey Keller (The Passage Of Time)

There's nothing funny about male pattern baldness. Unless, of course, you can watch it happen before your very eyes.

FoxSoccer.com has a career gallery of Kasey Keller where you can watch the US keeper go from convincing Millwall mullet to desperate Captain Picard in seventeen agonizing steps.

Intriguingly, Keller seems to have reverse-Samson syndrome. The more hair disappears down the plug-hole, the better his goalkeeping becomes.

Daryl Grove

Horror Hair: Peter Beardsley

Not so much horror hair as a horror face. You have to hand it to Beardo for cultivating this Beatles-esque moptop hairstyle, as it craftily detracted attention from his less-than symmetrical, wasp-chewing features. Look at that mouth - is it trying to escape from the rest of his face?

Horror Hair: Djibril Cisse

Liverpool's attention-seeking striker-cum-winger changes his hairstyle all the time. Uncannily, it's always a really bad hairstyle. This 'bleached shoelace' is so uncool that it's almost cool. Almost. Get a regulation short-back-and-sides next time Djibril. That would be shocking.

Horror Hair: Romania

A combined effort for the Romanian national squad who bleached their hair at France 98 after qualifying for the knockout stages top of their group. Poor old goalkeeper Bogdan Stelea was unable to get involved due to a lack of hair. This seemingly foolproof tactical plan fell flat on its face when Romania lost in the second round to Croatia. Would the real Slim Shady please stand up?

Rob Parker

Horror Hair: Gazza

Sorry the picture is so small, but it's all I could find of Gazza (or G8 or whatever he's called now) and his lovely flowing Michael Bolton-style locks. When Gascoigne joined Lazio after the World Cup of Italia '90, he wanted to make an impact. Obviously, the impact he had made on Gary Charles in the FA Cup semi-final against Nottm Forest wasn't what he had in mind. After his lengthy lay-off, he went to Italy and got his hair done. Badly. Weren't these hair extensions too?
Mof Gimmers

Horror Hair: Peter Shilton

Permanent wave, anyone? Peter Shilton's 'just stepped out of a salon' hairdo (not to mention his naff jersey) sums up for me the problem with the English national side in the 1980s. Not sure why exactly – it just does. Everything about it is just wrong with a capital W.

Horror Hair - Abel Xavier

Sometimes a haircut can stop you in your tracks and make you wonder why you bother getting up in the morning. Some however make you smirk and point.

Abel Xavier's really doesn't need my writing about it to tell you how utterly abysmal it is.

Just sit and stare.

Mof Gimmers

Horror Hair: Pat Jennings

Jesus, it looks like he's wearing massive headphones made out of hair. Quite remarkable. The fringe, that's not so bad, but sort out what's happening at the side, Pat. What's he hiding under there? The biggest pair of ears in the world? Half-time oranges? His team-mates?

Big Pat (no relation to Big Sam or Big Phil) only played at one World Cup, for Northern Ireland in 1982. One more than compatriot George Best, though.

Horror Hair: Iordan Letchkov

Bulgaria midfielder Iordan Letchkov's Horror Hair was defined by the small fluffy island of hair in the middle of his bald dome. In this picture it looks like the ball could easily stick to his velcro hair patch. There seems to be some sort of dilemma for balding footballers as to what to do with their remaining hair (Bobby Charlton being a case in point). Grade One all over is the answer, boys.

Horror Hair T-Shirt!

Fans of our Horror Hair articles won't believe their mucky little eyes!

Football 365 have made these ace T-Shirts containing a pantheon of bad coiffured Gods! Horrors include Gerry Francis, Mark Hatley (an under-rated hair cut) and the legend that is Barry Venison.

Click this link to see it in all its horrible glory!

Mof Gimmers

Horror Hair: Andreas Brehme

The most bitter experience of my life was having to sit through the 1990 World Cup final with my German exchange partner, a twat named Thorben who didn't even like football. England had been knocked out on pens by Lothar, Rudi and co in the semis and he was smugly convinced that Germany's name was on the cup. It was.

That West Germany v Argentina final was a dire game, notable only for Andy Brehme's winning penalty in the 85th minute. How I hated Brehme's ruthlessness, not to mention his Siegfried and Roy/Die Hard villian no.3 hair. Grrrr.

Horror Hair: Alexei Lalas

Alexei Lalas was the first global US football star, and all because he had a far-out, flaming beard, said 'dude' a lot and played in a rock 'n' roll band – he actually released an album titled, brilliantly, Ginger.

On the pitch, he was a half-decent central defender and even played for a few seasons in Serie A, for Padova. He also, as I remember, scored a headed goal against Graham Taylor's abject England in a friendly international. He's since shaved off the beard and looks a million times better. What a dude, dude.

Horror Hair: Sven Goran Eriksson

Quite apart from looking like The Simpsons' Mr Burns (eeeeexcellent, Smithers), it shouldn't go without saying that Sven has VERY BAD HAIR. He has quite a lot of hair for a man of his age, but it's somehow all in the wrong place - the thinning quiff is too far back on his head, meaning he's left with what resembles a hairy version of the McDonald's golden arches. Doh indeed.

Horror Hair: Claudio Canigga

Like many young men, I struggled to identify with androgynous types. What sex was Boy George exactly?

I felt the same way about Argentina's foppish dandy, Claudio Canigga.

With his silken flowing Timotei locks haring down the wing, I wondered if he'd ever seen the sharpest bits of a sex change op.

Of course, this was a ridiculous notion. He only had long hair… right?

Not so.

You see, many of my peers had seen long hair men before. Look at Chrissy Waddle. There was no mistaking his gender was there? Or perhaps Mark Hateley? Lank mullet and all man.

There was just something about the Canigga package that puzzled.

Maybe it was his blonde tousled look, combined with lady's cheekbones. He wasn't a million miles from Martina Navratilova. In fact, my Grandma still refers to him as 'that woman who played in the World Cup'.

Claudio, we salute you.

Ace fan site dedicated to Claudio Paul Canigga

Horror Hair: David Beckham's Braids

Sadly El Capitan has had any number of Horror Hair candidates.  From a mohawk to dwarf Christian Ziege's to his silly ponytail, David Beckham has probably amassed more bad barnets than any other footballer.

The pick of the bunch though is the Beckham braids.  We can only assume he took his well known love of hip-hop a little to far.  Worse still was the army of young Beckham fans who naturally decided this was the way to go.

Read about the plight of one such fan by clicking here. 

A Long 'Fro-verdue Comeback?

It appears Fulham defender Liam Rosenior is making a valiant attempt to return the Afro to its rightful place in top-flight football.  It remains to be seen whether Rosenior will lose his bottle and shave his current mini-afro or grow it to the proportions of some of the heroes of yesteryear.

While we wait and see, continue reading to admire some of the finest football Afros. 

Jairzinho

Brazilian footballers of the 1970s were the undoubted kings of the Afro.  Here we see Jairzinho's beautiful example accentuated by the backlighting and taking on an almost holy quality.

George Berry

Former Wolves, Stoke City and Wales centre-back George Berry shows the British boys can do it too with this splendid effort.  Really topped off by the full beard.

Remi Moses

The tough-tackling Manchester United and West Brom midfielder Remi Moses obviously took inspiration from Berry.  Moses was last spotted coaching an inline skating team in Manchester

Rio Ferdinand

No prizes for guessing how Rio killed time during his suspension for missing a drugs test.  A short-lived fad during the 2004 pre-season and let down by the high hairline but a brave attempt regardless.

Rob Parker

Horror hair: Christian Ziege's mohawk

You looking at me? Of course we are, you look like an idiot. We'll stop looking at you when the rest of your hair grows back.

Maverick Germans… no, no, no, just plain wrong. We've all seen Escape to Victory and we know that German footballers are in reality teutonic robots with regulation haircuts, unthinking and unfeeling. Christian Ziege's attempt to stand out from the crowd doesn't work because he clearly doesn't have the edgy, Travis Bickle-personality to pull it off. 7/10 on the bad hair-o-meter.

Horror Hair: Roberto Baggio

There was always a kid at school with such wiry, tightly curled hair that he ended up with the charming handle 'Pubehead'. Roberto Baggio was surely such a kid - you could scour pans with his mop. That divine ponytail only served to exaggerate the pube-iness of his hair. When he ran at defenders, it looked like he was being chased by a flying squirrel. And the devilish goatee beard didn't help matters. Great player, though.

On the bad-hair-o-meter (which I have just invented, although not yet patented) he rates a healthy 8/10.

Horror Hair: Rene Higuita

Colombia is a footballing nation of excellent Horror Hair pedigree.  Loopy goalkeeper Rene Higuita is an excellent case in point.  He is more likely than not a customer of the same barber / topiarist as Carlos Valderrama.  The poodle-esque Higuita seized upon the Terry McDermott perm and took it to new and exciting lengths.  Fortunately for the curly-haired keeper he will always be remembered for his ‘scorpion kick’ save against England, which detracts from the memory of his dreadful hair.

Talking of the scorpion kick, click here to see it.

Rob Parker

Horror Hair: Bruno Metsu

Bruno Metsu, the man who led Senegal to glory in the World Cup is exactly what you'd want to see on the touchline.

A loving mongrel cross of Michael Hutchence and Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen.

What compliments Bruno's long flowing mane is a combo not seen since the halcyon days of Miami Vice. That is the T Shirt and Jacket. Prone to rolling the sleeve up to the elbow, this man was more than just a massive Michael Bolton haircut. He was, and probably still is, a style icon.

Bow down and weep.

Read more about Metsu in this Wikipedia thing

Horror hair: Bobby Charlton

When it comes to dodgy hair, people talk endlessly of mullets and ponytails, but the combover has to be a bigger crime, surely? You don't see many around these days, which is a shame. It's easy to forget that Bobby Charlton wasn't even 30 when he first started this brave experiment - he started thinning on top at 17, poor fella. That has to be a world record for the Youngest Ever Combover in Football, unless someone out there can correct me?

Horror Hair: Taribo West

Taribo... um, don't know how to tell you this, but you've got, er, green maggots on your head... yes, the Nigerian hardman graced the pitch with feet of lead and a hairstyle that was just plain wrong. He quipped that the 'thing' on his head was "fun and fashionable". He was half right.

Mof Gimmers

Horror Hair: Paul 'Der Afro' Breitner

The World Cup has seen some of the most sublime skills ever witnessed, and also some of the most dreadful haircuts seen on a human head… ever. One of the most stunning thatches to grace our beautiful game is that which lived (yes, it seemed to have a life of its own) on the head of  Paul Breitner.I mean, just look at the state of him. I'm almost lost for words. Surely no Panini sticker could contain such a barnet…

Breitner claimed the West German league title with Bayern Munich, a European championship and a World Cup with his national side and a Spanish league title with Real Madrid. He's also one of only three players to have scored in two World Cup finals (the others are Vava and Pele). Quite a CV. Yet we remember him as that German fella with the crazy Afro. Brilliant.So, Paul Breitner - a gentleman, a record breaker, and owner of a truly criminal mop.

Mof Gimmers