Who Ate All The Bratwurst

5 Conclusions: Germany v Portugal

1 Picking up a bronze medal meant a lot more to Germany on home-soil than it did to Portugal.

2 Cristiano Ronaldo must want to be more hated. Why continue to dive in a fairly meaningless match when you know the world is watching you?

3 Bastian Schweinsteiger left it a bit too late. He has been below par in this tournament, especially in comparison to his over-achieving team-mates.

4 The German FA will sign Jurgen Klinsmann up on a long contract. Then it will all go pear-shaped without home advantage and they will have to give him a big payoff when they sack him. He should walk now and he will be remembered as a hero.

5 Jens Lehmann ahead of Oliver Kahn was the correct decision. Well done, Jurgen!

Rob Parker

Third place playoff preview: Germany v Portugal

GERMANY V PORTUGAL
Stuttgart, 8pm BST (BBC)

It looked like it could be a good match, but Klinsmann is playing a few reserves and Big Phil Scolari is offended by the whole match. You would suspect that finishing third means a little more to Germany than is does to Portugal, and as long as they are taking it seriously we might see a decent game.

Team News Germany skipper Michael Ballack is out of the match with an inflamed knee. Oliver Kahn, Marcell Jansen and Robert Huth come in for Jens Lehmann, Arne Friedrich and Per Mertesacker. Portugal are without Miguel who picked up a knee injury in the semi-final against France. Paulo Ferreira is his likely replacement.

Prediction Germany 2-0 Portugal

Rob Parker

5 Conclusions: Portugal v France

1 I was shocked at the crowd reaction to Cristiano Ronaldo - the boos were louder than if he had done something wrong in the match he was playing in. Have France suddenly got some sympathy for Rooney and England?!

2 Portugal were not a semi-final outfit. It would have been more interesting to see Holland progress from their second round match.

3 Fabien Barthez and Pauleta should have swapped sides. Barthez had more chance of scoring than Pauleta, and the hopeless striker would make a better keeper than Barthez (although most people would!).

4 Tactical genius Big Phil Scolari for some reason thinks the last 20 minutes of World Cup knockout games is the time to blood Ronaldo as a striker.

5 Some of the Portuguese dives were absolutely ridiculous. When the dives are as blatant as Postiga and Ronaldo's in the dying minutes they should receive red cards, never mind yellow.

Rob Parker

Semi-final preview: Portugal v France

PORTUGAL V FRANCE
Munich, 8pm BST (BBC1)

It could have been England (sigh!). Portugal are obviously not in Germany to make friends so presumably they would like to win the trophy. France were nearly knocked out in the group stages, but scraped through to claim the scalps of Spain and Brazil. Both sides are built around ageing stars.

Team News Cristiano Ronaldo and Luis Figo are both injury doubts for Big Phil Scolari and Armando Petit is suspended. Ball-headed Deco and Costinha are back from bans though. France are likely to retain the eleven that started their last two matches, five of whom would miss the final if they picked up a booking.

Prediction Portugal 0-2 France

Rob Parker

5 Conclusions: Holland v Portugal

1 Referee Valentin Ivanov = trouble. Bring back Graham Poll!

2 England could theoretically face a Portugal side without Deco, Figo, Costinha and Cristiano Ronaldo.

3 If it had gone to extra-time I think we might have seen full blown warfare. What's the next level up after bad-tempered?!

4 And what's the next level down after ice cool? Nothing ruffled Marco van Basten's feathers.

5 Ruud van Nistelrooy can't get a game for club or country it seems.

Rob Parker

Bratwurst awards ceremony for the World Cup losers

Just like the headteacher at a failing school's awards evening, here at Bratwurst we want to make sure that nobody goes home empty handed. This is our awards ceremony full of token prizes for those teams whose World Cup dream is now over after first round elimination.

Join us in this celebration of mediocrity and allow me to hand you over to our host with most: Mr Mick McCarthy.

The Award for having most players in the second round without qualifying
And the winner is: Poland
The Poles may be out, but Lukas Podolski and Miroslav Klose are still flying the flag (the German flag though).

The Award for best Premiership blast from the past
And the winner is: Paulo Wanchope (Costa Rica)
The gangly forward is reportedly angling for a return too.

The Award for talking a good game
And the winner is: Paraguay
They were all mouth before the tournament and didn't deliver.

The Award for outstanding effort
And the winner is: Trinidad and Tobago
Nobody expect anything other than three heavy defeats for T&T and they proved everyone wrong.

The Award for being the best team not to qualify for the second round
And the winner is: Ivory Coast
Gave an excellent account of themselves, but the Group of Death was a bit too deadly for them.

The Award for messiest World Cup divorce
And the winner is: Serbia & Montenegro
S&M will go their separate ways now. Not sure who gets the kids.

The Award for worst World Cup haircut
And the winner is: Loco (Angola)
No need for any comment here.

The Award for the participating country most likely to get bombed by America
And the winner is: Iran
Unless George Dubya has been wooed by their carpet pennants.

The Award for furthest distance travelled downhill after an opening match
And the winner is: Czech Republic
So full of promise after whipping the USA, but it all ended in tears.

The Award for the coach with the more plausible name for a World Cup venue
And the winner is: Bruce Arena (USA)
"Welcome to the Bruce Arena in Frankfurt for today's game between..."

The Award for most referees eliminated from the World Cup
And the winner is: Croatia
With a little help from Mr Poll himself, of course!

The Award for giving Brazil a scare before getting thrashed
And the winner is: Japan
You can never keep Ronaldo down. Weebles wobble but they don't fall down.

The Award for most French hearts put in mouths
And the winner is: South Korea
They nearly sneaked through after that late equaliser against Les Bleus.

The Pierre van Hooijdonk Award for most strikes threatened
And the winner is: Togo
If only they had spent as much time on the training ground as they had at the negotiation table.

The Award for packing midfield and not scoring enough goals
And the winner is: Tunisia
Couldn't change their system even when they needed a win against Ukraine.

The Award for most surnames in a squad beginning with 'Al'
And the winner is: Saudi Arabia
No fewer than 12 of the Saudi squad were Al something.

Rob Parker

Portugal's Ricardo and Caneira kissing in the goal

Portugal goalkeeper Ricardo and defender Caneira got caught up in the moment during their Group D decider against Mexico. The pair enjoyed a quick snog and a cuddle in the goal to celebrate Ricardo's save from Omar Bravo. Big Phil Scolari has obviously got team-bonding going very well in the Portugal camp.

Rob Parker

LIVE BLOG: Portugal 2–1 Mexico

Click below to access our live blog of Group D decider PORTUGAL v MEXICO, which kicks off at 3pm. Feel free to join the debate and comment on the match as it progresses – & don't forget to click Refresh on your internet browser to update the commentary…

FYI, 3 subscribers can check out the highlights of the game for free on their mobile.

LIVE BLOG: Portugal v Mexico, Group D, Gelsenkirchen

(click 'refresh' on your web browser to update)

Hi, welcome to the Portugal v Mexico live blog. Roof is on in Gelsenkirchen and the national anthems are being played…

1min And we're off… a Portugal draw/win will see them top Group D and probably avoid Argentina in the next round. Mexico need a win to run out group winners. Let's hope both teams go for the win…

2min Jinking run into Portugal's box by Mexico forward Jose Fonseca. He shoots low and hard but straight at Ricardo. Lively start by Mexico.

5min No Deco or Cristiano Ronaldo for Portugal – both are on yellow cards and not risked by Big Phil Scolari. He says they definitely won't come on too, even if the score is 30-0 to Mexico. Could backfire.

6min GOOOAAAL! Portugal 1–0 Mexico Maniche calmly sidefoots the ball into the roof of the Mexico net after a neat ball across the box from Simao. Against the run of play, it has to be said.

7min Acrobatic volley by Bravo almost equalises for Mexico. Just wide though. Very open game now.

9min Gareth Southgate and Clive Tyldesley in the ITV commentary box. Southgate's voice could make paint dry; Tyldelsley's could strip it off the walls. The dream team :(

12min Why is Rafael Marquez playing in Mexico's midfield? He's a central defender for god's sake. Mad decision. Portugal's dynamic midfield trio (Maniche, Tiago and Petit) will give him no time on the ball, as Southgate rightly points out.

15min Lots of possession for Mexico in last couple of minutes but they haven't done too much with the ball. If – and it's a huge if – Angola can thump Iran, Mexico could be going home.

17min This is the first time Portugal have qualified for a World Cup's knockout stages since 1966, the era of Eusebio (who, incidentally, is in the crowd in Gelsenkirchen). As you might guess from this aside, not much is happening on the pitch right now…

20min Figo sprints (yes, sprints!) down the right wing after a great line-ball by Miguel and wins a corner. Figo takes it himself but doesn't clear Mexico's first defender.

22min Maniche is fouled on the edge of the Mexico area. Yellow card for Perez and a dangerous free-kick to Portugal… Figo's weak effort rebounds off the advancing Mexican wall for a corner. PENALTY!!! Rafael Marquez's raised arm deflects the ball. A clear-cut decision. He meant it. Simao to take…

24min GOAAAAAALLLLL!!! Portugal 2-0 Mexico Simao isn't put off by Sanchez's mind games (he stood way to the left of his goal) and blasts the penalty home, to the keeper's right.

27min Yellow card for Portuguese defender Miguel, who fouls Bravo. Perez then fouls Maniche. Tiago runs onto Postiga's ball, into the box but shoots straight at Sanchez. Mexico's tactic of playing Marquez in midfield looks pretty dumb right now… Somehow Ricardo saves Bravo's fierce, low shot from point-blank range. Corner to Mexico, who desperately need to pull one back… they do!!!

29min GOOOAAAALLLLLL!!! Portugal 2-1 Mexico Jose Fonseca's glancing header from a corner beats Ricardo. Mexico back in the game.

33min Fonseca's goal was quite similar to Allback's header against England last night… Maniche's trailing foot catches Perez in the face (retribution?) and Mexico have a free-kick near Portugal's left-hand corner flag… corner to Mexico, who look quite dangerous from set-pieces. It comes to nothing though.

37min Marquez is like a ponytailed fish out of water in midfield – plus he gave away that penalty. He's having a shocker.

40min Petit, reportedly a Man Utd transfer target, has an optimistic blast from a free-kick some 40 yards out and wins a corner… Fonseca's delicate header up the other end just goes wide but Ricardo had it covered and it's a goal-kick to Portugal.

42min No goals in the Angola v Iran game so far, btw. No great surprise really. Both teams have scored just one goal between them so far… here in Gelsenkirchen, Maniche's shot is charged down by the hapless Marquez.

45min Portugal passing it around casually now, playing for half-time. A sustained period of Portuguese possession ends when Maniche's speculative shot is easily gathered in by Sanchez… a powerful Pardo strike is palmed out by Ricardo. Corner to Mexico… penalty claim waved away after Maniche's challenge. Chaos in the penalty box now after a fine Mexican cross. Ricardo saves and somehow ends up in the back of his net, injured. He's just bluffing I reckon. Get up son!

45+1min One last attack for Mexico sees Bravo put in by Marquez but Bravo puts his shot well over the bar – of course he does, he's in my fantasy team.

HALF-TIME A good half, three goals and plenty of entertainment. Back in 15mins…

49min Oops, look at the time. I missed the first two minutes of the second half, but no more goals to report.

50min I see Zinha has been brought on for Rodriguez at half-time, allowing Marquez to go back to his usual position in central defence. Sensible move.

53min Clive Statto Tyldesley's at it again – Mexico has lost just 2 out of 16 World Cup games to European opposition. Decent record… Big Phil Scolari having a rant at his players, who have started the second half in sluggish fashion.

57min Penalty to Mexico!!! Miguel's inadvertant handball results in a pen to the Mexicans, but Bravo blasts it over the bar. The idiot. My fantasy team jinx continues…

60min Mexico looking much bettter now that Marquez is in defence. Zinha causing problems for Portugal in midfield. Paolo Ferreira about to come on for Portugal… Perez felled in the box by Miguel but no penalty given. Perez booked again, for diving, and sent off – Red card to Perez. Unlucky.

62min Chelsea's Ferreira on for Miguel, who almost gave away two penalties in the space of five minutes. Big Phil not happy at all with his team. Can't blame him, but Portugal now in the box seat against 10 men.

64min Bravo misses a 'gilt-edged chance' for Mexico, shooting way over from close range. Aaaaargh!

66min Blatant dive by Simao on Portugal's left wing results in a yellow card for Marquez. Tiago then goes close with a grasscutter. And Angola has scored against Iran: Angola 1-0 Iran. Makes it a bit more uncomfortable for Mexico.

68min Nuno Gomes on for Portugal, in place of Postiga. Handball by Maniche and he gets an overdue yellow card. Mexico also make a sub: Castro on for Pineda.

71min In a hypothetical World Cup of Entertaining Coaches, Scolari v La Volpe would be everyone's dream final.

73min You'd think Portugal, not Mexico, were down to 10 men. The Europeans are running out of steam whilst Mexico look strong – we shouldn't forget that they're without Deco, Ronaldo and Costinha though… then Ferreira gives away a blatant penalty with a hack from behind on Bravo. Shocking decision by the young Estonian referee.

75min Mexico will almost certainly go through with Portugal if they lose this afternoon but they deserve to win this match.

78min Still 1-0 to Angola in the other Group D match. But do Mexico know what's happening in that match? They can't afford to concede again.

80min Portugal bring on Fulham's Boa Morte, for Luis Figo. Mexico also make a substitution: Villareal's Guillermo Franco comes on, for Mendez.

82min GOOOOAALLL! But not in this match. It's now Iran 1-1 Angola. Mexico look safe as houses now. Simao's dangerous low cross is cleared by Marquez, whose knee crashes into the face of Sanchez, his goalkeeper. Ouch.

84min As Sanchez receives treatment, ITV cuts to Mexican fans, all looking deliriously happy. News of Iran's telling equaliser must have reached them.

87min On this evidence, neither Holland or Argentina would be too worried if they had to play either of these teams in the next round. I'd take the best of Group C over the best of Group D, any day.

88min Yellow card for Boa Morte, for kicking out. Zinha also booked for a clash with Simao. Fonseca's curling shot is then well-saved low to his right by Ricardo. Good value for money, this match.

90+1min Caneira clatters Bravo and Mexico have a free-kick on the half-way line. Can't imagine there's been a game with more free-kicks than this clash. Yellow card (the eighth of the game) for Nuno Gomes, probably just for having long hair.

90+2 A silky run by Boa Morte leads to a powerful Maniche shot, punched out by Sanchez. Almost full-time now.

FULL-TIME Portugal 2–1 Mexico So Portugal top Group D, Mexico are runners-up. Good open game, but too many fouls and dives. Thanks for your time…

FYI, 3 subscribers can check out the highlights of the game for free on their mobile.

Day 13 preview & predictions

Day 13 already! This is going way too fast. Interesting line-up today, including Holland v Argentina (scorchio!) and the most romantic-sounding tie in World Cup history: Ivory Coast versus Serbia and Montenegro – say it aloud, it's pure poetry…

3pm Portugal v Mexico, Group D, Gelsenkirchen (ITV1, Live Blog on Bratwurst)
3pm Iran v Angola, Group D, Leipzig (ITV2)
8pm Holland v Argentina, Group C, Frankfurt (ITV1)
8pm Ivory Coast v Serbia & Montenegro, Group C, Munich

Day 13 preview & predictions cont…

3pm Portugal v Mexico, Group D, Gelsenkirchen (ITV1, Live Blog on Bratwurst)

Portugal just need a draw to top Group D. Mexico also need a draw to progress, but even a defeat would probably see them through, unless Angola beat Iran by more than three goals. In other words, I can't see either team going for the jugular. Should be a lukewarm affair.
Player cam: Deco, Costinha and Pauleta are all one yellow away from missing the last 16 match, so we could see the introduction of fop-haired Nuno Gomes, who always seems to reserve his best form for major tournaments.
Prediction: Portugal 0 – 0 Mexico

* * * * *

3pm Iran v Angola, Group D, Leipzig (ITV2)

Angola have been a pleasure to watch and I'd love to see them go through. Their chances are mighty slim though. They need to thump Iran by three or four and then hope that Portugal beats Mexico. Can't see that happening, especially as Angola have yet to score a goal. Iran, of course, are already out.
Player cam: I hope Iran's Sohrab Bakhtiarizadeh sees a lot of the ball, if only to piss off the commentators.
Prediction: Iran 2 – 1 Angola

* * * * *

8pm Holland v Argentina, Group C, Frankfurt (ITV1)

The most appealing tie of the tournament so far. Pity that both teams have already qualified, plus neither will be too bothered about finishing top, with Portugal and Mexico waiting in the wings. England fans should  pray that Holland don't win this match and top Group C though – if they do, England is set for another quarter-final showdown with Argentina. Ouch. For the Dutch, Gio van Bronckhorst, Arjen Robben, Mark van Bommel and Joris Mathijsen, all on yellow cards, are expected to sit this one out. Carlos Tevez should start for Argentina, but Lionel Messi will have to sit on the bench again, at least for the first half.
Player cam: Carlos Tevez was one of my Golden Boot picks before the tournament began, but it's not so easy getting in the starting line-up when you're competing with Crespo, Saviola and Messi. Let's see what he can do from the start…
Prediction: Holland 1 – 1 Argentina

* * * * *

8pm Ivory Coast v Serbia & Montenegro, Group C, Munich

Aw, who cares? Both teams are out, Drogba and Kezman are suspended (bet neither hangs around to support their team-mates) and we're left with a meaningless game.
Player cam: Not even sure if this is on telly, and with Holland v Argentina on at the same time, no one will be watching if it is.
Prediction: Ivory Coast 2 – 1 Serbia & Montenegro

Bet of the Day: Argentina to beat Holland 2-1

There is not a great deal of value in today's match betting, so I'm going to go for a correct score. Blue Square has a 2-1 victory for Argentina against Holland at 8/1. Or you can lengthen those odds to 40/1 by placing a Scorecast bet with Carlos Tevez to open the scoring. Tevez is set to start because Hernan Crespo picked up a yellow card in an earlier game.

Rob Parker

LIVE BLOG: Portugal 2-0 Iran

Click below to access the Live Blog for Portugal v Iran (don't forget to refresh your browser for updates). Join in and post your comments as the match progresses. (FYI, after the match, 3 subscribers can check out the highlights of the game for free on their mobile.)

LIVE BLOG: Portugal v Iran

Pre-game build up Plenty of team news. Portugal ring the changes after struggling to finish off Angola in their first match. Costinha, Maniche and Deco are in for Petit, Tiago and Simao Sabrosa. Iran's 37-year-old record-breaking striker Ali Daei is dropped, apparently with a back injury but his ineffectual performance against Mexico is a more likely reason.

Portugal are in good voice for their anthem. Iran mutter along to their anthem, looking very pensive.

Iran have brought along another huge rug masquerading as a pendant. The Portuguese FA must have some worries over excess baggage charges when they fly home with that!

1min Iran kick-off. Mick McCarthy is in the commentary box, which is always entertaining. Portugal immediately get into the Iran area but can't get a shot away.

3min Iran are just sitting back, but don't look anywhere near as organised as Trinidad & Tobago. Don't look like keeping Portugal out for 90 minutes.

4min Quiet opening. Deco has changed his boots already and Pauleta is caught offside as Portugal lump up a 'Crouch ball.'

5min Maniche shoots from distance but it flies a long way over.

7min Nuno Valente gets to the byline after an interchange with Figo and wins a corner. The corner goes long to Maniche (a la Beckham and Scholes but deeper) who volleys wide but at least keeps this one down.

10min  Ronaldo skins two defenders but his cross is blocked and cleared.

11min First chance for Iran. From a free kick Nekounam heads wide. Portugal counter and Deco shoots powerfully, but the keeper stays tall and gets a strong hand to it. The corner comes to nothing.

14min Ronaldo ghosts past another defender but again his cross is easily blocked and put out for a corner. The corner is put behind by a defender for another one.

15min Portugal go short and win a free-kick, which Figo again gives to Maniche on the edge of the area. He gets this shot on target, but it is blocked. The keeper has to punch the ball away with Pauleta in close attendance when the ball is eventually crossed after a short corner.

18min Iran are happy to keep possession after Portugal's spell of pressure. It is not Argentina, but it is effective.

19min A pass goes astray and Nekounam has to bring down Figo to prevent a break and is booked. He will miss Iran's final match against Angola.

20min Deco makes a break and chips the ball in for Pauleta, but the Portugal striker is offside.

22min Mick McCarthy is disappointed that Portugal have three defenders and two holding midfielders playing against one Iran striker. He can make useful insights occasionally then!

23min Iran's best chance so far, again from a free kick. Ricardo punches clear ahead of the Iranian jumpers.

26min Ronaldo again beats his man, but selfishly attempts to score with the outside of his boot from near the byline rather than looking for one of his three team-mates in the box.

28min Another ball over the top for Pauleta which is put behind for a corner. Ricardo Carvalho's glancing header goes wide from the corner.

30min Teymourian is fortunately flagged offside because he hit the post with his shot when he should have scored.

32min Medanchi actually gets somewhere near Ronaldo this time, and picks up a booking for his tackle!

33min Figo whips in an excellent corner and Ronaldo's header is cleared off the line.

34min Ronaldo has another shot which whistles inches wide of the near post.

35min Figo is rolling on the floor in agony after being caught on the head by a flying karate kick from Kaabi.

36min Figo is groggily back to his feet and tries to take a drink of water, but the bottle is empty. One of those days, Luis!

40min Karimi cuts the ball back in the Portugal area, but it was behind the strikers and is cut out easily by Figo.

41min Miguel falls awkwardly and receives treatment, but is OK to resume.

43min Miguel makes a run into the area. The keeper gets what looks like an elbow to his cross-cum-shot and it races wide tantalisingly close to Pauleta.

45min Pauleta is harshly booked after just catching Golmohammadi as he cleared.

HALF TIME Portugal are rattled and frustrated. Just wait until Big Phil's gets his hand on them!

Backin 15 minutes.

46min The second half kicks off. Ronaldo's trickery is back into the action, but he tries one flick too many and the ball strays behind for a goal kick.

47min Deco gets Portugal's revenge on behalf of Figo going in high on Nosrati with his studs showing and catching his shoulder. Deco is booked. Mick McCarthy is moaning about refs flashing cards in a "grand manner."

49min Mick's policy is to fall back on his first-half tactical insight. For about the fourth time he has repeated his observation about Portugal's two sitting midfielders.

53min The game needs a goal. Angola gave us a masterclass in plucky 0-0 last night and it is beginning to tire a little. We want a goal now!

54min Big Phil must be thinking about a change now we are 10 minutes into the second half with no change. If only he could make positive changes, just like Sven! ;o)

56min Mahdavikia has been watching Ronaldo. He twists and turns, and beats his man but can't put in a cross or get a shot away. In fairness, he had much less support than Ronaldo normally has.

60min Figo is reduced to harmless shots from 30 yards which the keeper easily gathers. Iran break-away and win a free-kick when Costinha brings down Madanchi. The deep free-kick is cleared by Portugal but it did cause some concern.

63min GOAL!!! A beauty from Deco on his World Cup debut. Shot into the top left corner from just outside the D, despite slipping over as he shot. The keeper didn't move.

65min Iran make a couple of changes in quick succession. Zandi and Khatibi are on for Madanchi and Karimi. Portugal bring on Petit for Maniche.

68min Khatibi misses Iran's best chance with almost his first touch. The long ball beats the Portugal defence and Khatibi miscues his shot across goal.

70min Deco's goal was excellent having just seen it again. He hit it first time from a square ball and with virtually no run up.

72min Karate-kicking Kaabi is booked for tripping Ronaldo as he raced down the touchline.

74min Figo is sporting a very nice stud-mark on his cheek. As if he was lacking in ruggedness!

76min Iran had a free-kick in a good position wide on the right, but Zandi blasts it into the wall and the attack breaks down after the resulting throw in.

77min Iran's best chance of the game. A free header from Hashemian but it is soft and Ricardo makes the most of it. Portugal break and win a penalty. Figo takes a tumble after minimal contact from Golmohammadi.

79min GOAL!!! Cristiano Ronaldo tucks the penalty into the top-left corner, sending the keeper the wrong way.

80min Portugal bring on Tiago for Deco with the game won.

83min The game has fizzled out once again after 20 minutes of competitive football. Ah well, maybe this evening's games will bring better football.

85min Golmohammadi bodychecks Ronaldo, but comes of worse. Looks like he might have injured his collarbone, but he is booked once he can get to his feet to hobble off.

88min Ronaldo shoots from the free-kick wide on the right, but it hits the sidenetting and the keeper had it covered.

90min The ref has added on five minutes. Why, oh why?

91min  Simao has come on for Figo and Bakhtiarizadeh (that's a difficult name to spell!) is on for the injured Golmohammadi.

93min Iran nearly score from a corner. Portugal seem to have given up on marking as three Iran players were queuing up for a free header. Khatibi does get the touch, but it is poor and glances wide.

95min Ronaldo nearly scores with the last-kick of the game, but he is offside as he poaches Pauleta's cross.

FULL TIME It was a poor match, but Deco's strike was a bit special. Portugal are through, but like England they are not firing on all cylinders.

Rob Parker

Germany 2006: Day 9 preview & predictions

Two fantastic games and one scoreless draw yesterday. Can today's three matches live up to that?

2pm Portugal v Iran, Group D, Frankfurt (BBC, Live Blog on Bratwurst)
5pm Czech Republic v Ghana, Group E, Cologne (ITV)
8pm Italy v USA , Group E, Kaiserslautern (ITV)

Click below to read the full preview & predictions

Germany 2006: Day 9 preview & predictions cont…

2pm Portugal v Iran, Group D, Frankfurt (BBC, Live Blog on Bratwurst)

Mexico's failure to beat Angola last night leaves the door wide open for Portugal to win Group D, which along with England's group, is probably the weakest quartet. Influential playmaker Deco returns to the side and Cristiano Ronaldo should also be fit to start. Can only see a Portugal win this afternoon – Iran were pretty poor in the end against Mexico, despite a solid start.
Player cam: Deco is Portugal's Riquelme, only not as good. He should make a big difference to the Europeans though.
Prediction: Portugal 3 – 0 Iran

* * * * *

5pm Czech Republic v Ghana, Group E, Cologne (ITV)

God, I love Group E! Complacency is the biggest danger for the impressive Czechs, and Ghana could well cause a shock here. Should be a fascinating match, particularly in midfield: Nedved v Appiah, Rosicky v Essien. Some tasty match-ups there.
Player cam: Watch Michael Essien. He's Ghana's heartbeat – everything good comes through him.
Prediction: Czech Republic 2 – 2 Ghana

* * * * *

8pm Italy v USA , Group E, Kaiserslautern (ITV)

Poor USA. This is just what they need after a morale-draining defeat in their first game: the Italians. I'm sure Bruce Arena's boys will play a much better game than they managed against the Czechs, but Italy should have enough quality in all areas to sneak another 1-0 win.
Player cam: Landon Donovan will probably drop back to midfield for the States, where he will be more influential.
Prediction: Italy 1 – 0 USA

Portugal v Iran: LIVE BLOG @ 2pm

If you are stuck in the office today or simply find yourself hooked on Bratwurst's distinctive brand of witty repartee then why not join us at 2pm for a Live Blog on Portugal v Iran. Bratwurst is now the undisputed heavyweight champion of the live blog. We unified the belts by beating the BBC on points (me make more points than them). Join us at 2pm if you can.

Rob Parker

Germany 2006: Day 8 preview & predictions

The start of week two sees World Cup heavyweights Argentina and Holland back in action…

2pm Argentina v Serbia & Montenegro, Group C, Gelsenkirchen (BBC, Live Blog on Bratwurst)
5pm Holland v Ivory Coast, Group C, Stuttgart (ITV)
8pm Mexico v Angola, Group D, Hanover (ITV)

Click below to read the full preview & predictions (I did predict a 2-0 England win and a 1-0 Sweden win yesterday morning but didn't put any money on – d'oh!)

Germany 2006: Day 8 preview & predictions cont…

2pm Argentina v Serbia & Montenegro, Group C, Gelsenkirchen (BBC, Live Blog on Bratwurst)

Argentina were one of the most impressive teams in the first round of group games, but Group C is a tough son of a bitch, with no easy games. Holland struggled to get past S&M, but Argentina's task will be made easier by the tournament-ending injury (knee ligaments) to Serbia/Man Utd central defender Nemanja Vidic. Lionel Messi starts on the bench for Argentina and should come on in the second half.
Player cam: Argentina's young central midfielder Javier Mascherano is mature beyond his 22 years and a superstar in the making.
Prediction: Argentina 1 – 0 Serbia & Montenegro

* * * * *

5pm Holland v Ivory Coast, Group C, Stuttgart (ITV)

Holland came in for some unfair flak after their opening-game win against Serbia, mostly because they relied on Arjen Robben too much. Absurd – no one ever had a pop at Argentina for relying on Maradona too much in 1986. This match should be a cracker – on paper, it's one of the most attractive games of the group stages. Ivory Coast could well be the best team not to qualify for the knockout stages.
Player cam: All eyes will be on Robben again, but I'll also take a good look at Ivory Coast midfielder Yaya Toure, Kolo's younger brother.
Prediction: Holland 1 – 2 Ivory Coast

* * * * *

8pm Mexico v Angola, Group D, Hanover (ITV)

I'll readily admit I don't know enough about Mexico to comment on them with any authority, but they looked pretty handy against Iran. They could be the tournament's dark horses (if a nation ranked fourth in the world can be considered a dark horse). Angola looked poor against an uninspired Portugal and will struggle to get anything from this match.
Player cam: I've transferred Mexican striker Omar Bravo into my fantasy team, so I'm hoping that hasn't jinxed him. Get in there Omar!
Prediction: Mexico 1 – 0 Angola

One to Watch: Ricardo La Volpe, Mexico coach

He was the reserve goalkeeper in Argentina's 1978 World Cup-winning squad. He smokes more tabs than 20 Marlboro Men combined. His dress sense is straight out of the 1980s. He has a terrific Magnum PI moustache. He slags off the press regularly, accusing them off knowing nothing about football. He is Ricardo la Volpe, Mexico's national coach and Who Ate All the Bratwurst's new cult hero.

5 Conclusions: Angola v Portugal

1 In an age which sees many African teams taking on European styles and becoming more organised than previous years, it was refreshing to see Angola play with a gung-ho spirit not seen since Cameroon in the 1990 World Cup. Pacy, athletic and erratic, the Angola side will have every neutral firmly behind them.

2 Luis Figo may well be an old gimmer, but by shitting crikey, he's still a class act.

3 Cristiano Ronaldo is undoubtedly one of the more unpopular players in the world, and he cemented more ill feeling after showing maximum petulance after his substitution. He's a sulky baby, and should stick to providing dazzling runs and cheeky crosses.

4 Loco has the worst haircut in this years World Cup by a mile.

5 The main thing about this World Cup is that evening matches are played at a much more frantic pace than those in the daytime. Angola and Portugal played a high-tempo match, not seen earlier in proceedings.

Mof Gimmers

5 Conclusions: Mexico v Iran

1 Rafael Marquez is an even better player than I thought. He was Mexico's playmaker - and he did it from centre-half!

2 I don't know how the backup compares, but 37-year-old Ali Daei is certainly past his best and I can't remember him doing anything of use all match.

3 Iran came armed with the biggest penant in World Cup history (pictured). Probably the best rug on a football pitch since Bobby Mihailov!

4 The only thing less tasteful than the rug was Ricardo La Volpe's tie.

5 Mexico will give Portugal a run for their money to top the group.

Rob Parker

Bet of the Day: Angola and Portugal to draw

Many pundits are predicting a derby game feel to Portugal's clash with former colony Angola. Last time the sides met Angola had four players sent off. If Angola can keep Portugal quiet in the first 20 minutes (and keep more than seven men on the pitch) expect a nervy affair. Given that so many derbies end in draws, 7-2 is a pretty good price from Blue Square. Certainly no value in backing a Portugal win.

Rob Parker

Unofficial Iran World Cup song, by Kaveh. Funkier than a mosquito's tweeter

Some dude called Kaveh has put together a song & video for Iran (suddenly everyone's favourite dark horse, after they thrashed Bosnia 5-2 in a friendly this week). It's funky. I like it; you might like it too. As if by magic, here it is…

Kit Parade: Angola

We have already established that Puma have a monopoly on the African replica kit market. Most teams having their World Cup kits supplied by Puma have ended up with their national symbol camouflaged into the design. Angola have instead opted for a cross-section of a Jaffa Cake. You can buy it from UK Soccer Shop.

Rob Parker

One to watch: Oswaldo Sanchez

Oswaldo Sanchez is the best goalkeeper in the world that you have never heard of. OK, you might know who he is, but Oswaldo is relatively unknown considering how good he is. He has never played for a club outside of Mexico, which explains his apparent anonymity.

Oswaldo has had to grind out his 63 international caps and this will be his first World Cup as first-choice keeper despite it being his third finals. It was in last year's Confederations Cup that he cemented his place as Mexico's number one as he put in some outstanding performances and picked up two man of the match awards

One to watch: Oswaldo Sanchez

He eventually forced his way out of the day-glo shadow of Jorge Campos during qualification for the 2002 World Cup. Despite being first-choice throughout qualifying he was then replaced by the in-form Oscar Perez for the tournament itself.

Now aged 32, Oswaldo - or 'the Human Bird' as he is nicknamed - is at his goalkeeping prime and it shows. He conceded just three goals during World Cup qualification. He currently plays for Chivas in Mexico, but a move to permanent move to Europe could be on the cards if he impresses during his summer holidays. Here he is in action:

Rob Parker

All 32 squads announced. Here are the full details…

So all 32 World Cup squads have now been announced. Sven wasn't joking: Theo Walcott (pictured) is still in there! World Cup Blog has done the groundwork and compiled an exhaustive list of all the squads, which you can see by visiting Bob and co's excellent site…

Angola, Holland, Mexico, Japan squads announced

Woah woah, slow down a minute, I've only got one par of hands to type with! With the 15 May deadline for announcing your 23-man squad now upon us, World Cup coaches have been unveiling their choices left, right and centre. So now we know the 23-player rosters of Mexico, Japan, Holland (no George Boateng, Boro fans) and Angola.

Wait, wait… the Czech squad has also been annouced. It's all happening.

GROUP D: The verdict

Group D (Angola, Iran, Mexico, Portugal) ranks as one of the easiest groups of this World Cup, but it should be very competitive. Here's how we predict it'll end up…

GROUP D: HOW THEY'LL FINISH

1st Portugal Lucky to land in this group but they have enough midfield quality (Deco, Maniche, Figo, Cristiano Ronaldo) to finish top of the heap

2nd Mexico Ranked 6th in the world by FIFA, but definitely not the sixth-best team in the world. Should scrape 1-0 victories against Iran and Angola and claim second spot

3rd Iran A solid team but destined for third place

4th Angola Huge underdogs but can't underestimate any team that qualifies from the African world group. That said, I still think they'll pick up Group D's wooden spoon.

So Portugal and Mexico make it to the second round, to join Germany and Poland from Group A, England and Sweden from Group B and Argentina and Holland from Group C (no shocks predicted yet then). Stay tuned for the first of our Group E team guides, starting on Monday.

This is how the bookies (Blue Square) see the group:

Portugal 4-5
Mexico 11-8
Iran 10-1
Angola 16-1

Team Guide: PORTUGAL

It just so happens that running through Group D alphabetically is likely to give you the final group positions in ascending order.  Our final team guide for Group D is the side that will most likely top the group: Portugal. A little poetry to get you in the mood, perhaps?

There once was a man named Big Phil,

Who's manager of Portugal still.

The FA lost pride

As Phil chose to reside

Where he's able to nick players from Brazil.

PORTUGAL, Group D

11 June vs ANGOLA (8pm*, Cologne)
17 June vs IRAN (2pm, Frankfurt)
21 June vs MEXICO (3pm, Gelsenkirchen)
*all times BST

World Ranking 8

How they qualified
With consummate ease.  Portugal emerged unbeaten from their qualifying group with nine wins and 3 draws.  They chanced upon a fairly easy group with only Slovakia and Russia providing credible opposition, but they still qualified in style.  The closest Portugal came to a slip up was a 2-2 draw at Liechtenstein.

World Cup history
Portugal have an astonishingly poor World Cup history.  They have only qualified on three previous occasions - 1966, 1986 and 2002.  Their best finish was, of course, third-place in 1966.

Star man
Portugal's Pauleta was the top scorer in UEFA World Cup qualification.  The Paris Saint Germain striker scored 11 goals in the 12 qualification games.  His qualifying haul put him above Eusebio as Portugal's all-time leading goalscorer. The 33-year-old has yet to show his class in a major international tournament, and this is likely to be his last chance to address that.  A mobile striker with good control and a threat in the air.

Strengths
A wonderful array of individual talent in the side including Cristiano Ronaldo, Deco and Luis Figo.

An excellent run of form stretching from reaching the final of Euro 2004.

A peach of a group.

Weaknesses
Their strikers tend to forget how to score goals at major tournaments.

Defensive rock Jorge Andrade is out after knee surgery.

Did you know?
Portugal is officially England's oldest ally.  The Anglo-Portuguese Treaty was signed in 1373 and is still in effect.

Odds 16-1

Verdict
Despite being the second-ranked team in the group, Portugal are definitely favourites to top Group D.  Just like in qualification they have been blessed with a fantastic group draw.  The downside is that they will meet a side from the formidable Group C in the second round - probably Argentina or the Netherlands.  A mouthwatering prospect for the neutral, but Portugal will have to hit top form if they are to progress beyond that.

Rob Parker
 

Team Guide: MEXICO

FIFA's world rankings system has taken some criticism from Bratwurst over recent weeks, but that should not detract from our team guide for the sixth best team in world football.  It's Mexico, of course.

MEXICO, Group D

11 June vs IRAN (5pm*, Nuremberg)

16 June vs ANGOLA (8pm, Hanover)

21 June vs PORTUGAL (3pm, Gelsenkirchen)

*all times BST

World Ranking 6

How they qualified

They had to work a little harder than they might have expected.  They dominated the CONCACAF qualifying league along with the USA.  They finished level on points and each one the home game of their head-to-heads.  A shock defeat to Trinidad and Tobago in the final match meant Mexico had to settle for second place in the group.

World Cup history

Mexico have played in plenty of World Cup tournaments, but have never been able to push on and build a side capable of competing.  Despite qualifying 12 times, their best efforts were reaching the quarter-finals in 1970 and 1986.

Star man

Jared Borgetti. Yes, 'that' Jared Borgetti.  The Premier League might not be his cup of tequila, but CONCACAF qualifying certainly is.  El Zorro del Desierto - The Desert Fox, to you and me - scored 14 goals in qualifying, more than any other player in the world.  The 32-year-old is Mexico's all-time leading goalscorer, bagging a goal every other game.  Bolton Wanderers fans haven't even seen a goal every other month.  His international pedigree is undoubted though, so expect the Fox to be on the hunt against Angola and Iran.

Strengths

Three of CONCACAF's top five scorers from qualifying in Borgetti, Jaime Lozano and Jose Fonseca.

A strong defence marshalled by in-form goalkeeper Oswaldo Sanchez and protected by Barcelona's Rafael Marquez.

Weaknesses

Arguably their most creative player Cuauhtemoc Blanco - inventor of the 'Blanco Bounce' - has been left out after an argument with coach Ricardo La Volpe.

Once again the huge step up in class from qualifying will put their dubious world ranking to the test.

Did you know?

Mexico City sinks by between six and eight inches every year because it is built on top of an underground reservoir.

Odds 40-1 (Blue Sq)

Verdict

Mexico should qualify for the second round with ease, probably behind Portugal but ahead of Iran and Angola.  Expect a dull final group game if the two favourites need just a draw to progress.  FIFA reckon they are the sixth best team in the world, but the bookies say they are a 40-1 shot.  The bookies have got a more realistic view of the situation.  The second road will be the end of the road for the Mexicans with a probable game against Argentina or the Netherlands.

Rob Parker

Iran says no to metrosexual footballers

'I will ban athletes with an effeminate look,' proclaims Mohammad Ali-Abadi, the head of Iran's physical education organisation. He continues: 'It is really disgraceful for Iran that young people step onto fields wearing make-up… When a man enters the field with dyed hair and groomed eyebrows he is disrespecting society.' Exactly, Mo – I can't stand men with groomed eyebrows either.

Just as well David Beckham isn't Iranian, I suppose.

Team Guide: IRAN

Rumour has it that the debate over Iran's nuclear programme is distracting the national team from World Cup preparations.  It's time to put the politics to one side and let Bratwurst go 'fission' for all the information you need on Iran's World Cup prospects.

IRAN, Group D

11 June vs MEXICO (5pm*, Nuremberg)
17 June vs PORTUGAL (2pm, Frankfurt)
21 June vs ANGOLA (3pm, Leipzig)

*all times BST

World Ranking 22

How they qualified
Pretty much by default.  They topped a group containing containing those footballing giants Jordan, Qatar and Laos in the first stage of Asian qualifying, and then finished second behind Japan in the second stage ahead of Bahrain and North Korea.  The only result worth picking out is that they beat Japan at home.

World Cup history
Qualified for a World Cup at their second attempt in 1978, but then had to wait 20 years before they qualified again when they played in the infamous 'warmongers' group with USA, Germany and Yugoslavia at France 98.

Star Man

The man whose nicknames include the Asian Maradona, the Wizard of Tehran and the Magic Number 8.  Ali Karimi plays for Bayern Munich in Germany.  He won his big move in 2004 on the back of being named Asian Footballer of Year.  Karimi is a skillful midfielder who weighs in with his share of goals.  Although used largely as a substitute at Bayern, he has made 25 appearances this season and has scored three goals.  You are most likely to have seen Karimi this season scoring an acrobatic goal against Rapid Vienna in the Champions League.  The 27-year-old has 32 goals in 89 games for Iran.

Strengths

The quality playmaker missing from many of the lower ranked teams in Ali Karimi.

In Group D - a group which all four teams will look upon as the best draw they could have hoped for.

Weaknesses

A lack of experience beyond the handful of German based players.

Star striker Ali Daei is now aged 36.  He scored nine goals in qualifying but the World Cup will be a big step up for a player now playing in the Iranian national league.

Did you know?

Farsi - the main language in Iran - is the fourth most popular language for blogging in the world.

Odds 400-1 (Blue Sq)

Verdict

According to FIFA's rankings, Iran are only two places below Germany and three below Greece which would suggest that they should be able to give Portugal a game.  I think this is a little optimistic.  You would expect Iran to beat Angola in the final group match, but this will probably be little beyond a consolation.  Should finish third in the group.

Rob Parker

Team Guide: ANGOLA

The Bratwurst team guide roadshow rolls on to Group D.  The first team alphabetically in Group D, and indeed the World Cup, is Angola.  Click below to see how we rate the chances of one of the lowest rank teams in the tournament.

ANGOLA, Group D

11 June vs PORTUGAL (8pm*, Cologne)

16 June vs MEXICO (8pm, Hanover)

21 June vs IRAN (3pm, Leipzig)

*all times BST

World Ranking 58

How they qualified

By the skin of their teeth.  Having finished level on points with Nigeria, Angola qualified on the basis of their head-to-head results with the Super Eagles - a win at home and a draw away.  Their only defeat was away against Zimbabwe.  It was a shock in a group which also contained Algeria. However, the wheels nearly fell off very early on when Angola lost 3-1 at Chad in a preliminary match.  A 2-0 win in the return match was enough to progress to the group stage and the rest, as they say, is history.

World Cup history

None to speak of.  This is Angola's first qualification in six attempts since 1986.

Star man

The captain, leading goalscorer and all round national hero is Fabrice Akwa - Akwa to his mates.  Angola will need Akwa to be at his best to avoid humiliation in Germany.  His goals in qualifying were vital - particularly the winner against Nigeria.  He has been training with Angolan club side AS Aviacao since January when Al Wakrah of Qatar cancelled his contract.  Still only 28 years old, the former Benfica player is hoping to attract a new club side with his performances this summer.  He has even attempted to sweeten the deal by announcing that he will retire from international football after the tournament, which is a bonus for any would-be suitors as he has just spent what was the end of most domestic seasons playing in the Mickey Mouse Cosafa Castle Cup for his country.

Strengths

The Benfica connection past and present - Akwa and 24-year-old Pedro Mantorras, who has seen knee injuries scupper his promising career so far.

A decent defence.

Underdogs in one of the easier groups.

Weaknesses

An injury to winger Gilberto, who plays for Al Ahli in Egypt, when the Angolans need every quality player they can get their hands on.

The aforementioned lack of quality players, particularly midfield flair players.

Did you know?

Although Portuguese is the official language, other Angolan languages include Umbundu, Kimbundu and Kikongo.

Odds 500-1 (Blue Sq)

Verdict

Angola have got just about as nice a draw as they could have hoped for.  Iran are beatable but it is hard to imagine them getting a result against either Mexico or motherland Portugal.  It's always nice to see first time qualifiers, but it looks like a case of 'hello, goodbye.'  Should have plenty of underdog support from England - well we can't support Trinidad and Tobago can we?

Rob Parker

Kit Parade: Portugal

Portugal have gone all Gunners with this effort. Just like Arsenal, Portugal have ditched the red we had become accustomed to, in favour of a more maroon affair. The away kit is a darker shade still: it's black. You can buy them both from kitbag.
Rob Parker

Kit Parade: Mexico

Teams wearing green never seem to do that well – as a Plymouth Argyle fan, I should know. Mexico's new Nike kit looks smart enough, although the white chevron on the chest is a rather unnecessary detail. But if you want to support Mexico this summer, buy this shirt online from kitbag.com.

Loadsa Reffin' Money!

There aren't many good referees about are there? I quite liked Paul Durkin, but he's retired. I really don't like Mike Riley. Thankfully, he's not going to the World Cup finals.

The lucky sods that are taking part are going to be smiling. It's more than mere prestige I can tell you.

You see, the World Cup refs have been given a 100% pay rise, which will see them earn £22,500 each!

The total refereeing bill for the month-long tournament will top £2,250,000, the Daily Mirror said yesterday.

There will be twenty three refs officiating the 64 World Cup matches, and their assistants will be paid the same amount. Bloody Nora!

Refs got £11,250 for the finals in Japan and South Korea four years ago, and of course, there wasn't a dodgy decision in sight... apart from the really ropey ones that saw Spain bow out to the hosts. And loads of others.

Still, FIFA love them and have thought it a good idea to give them an even greater (self inflated) opinion of themselves.

Keep an eye out for Russian linesmen.