Who Ate All The Bratwurst

Peter Crouch hails the best goal of his Liverpool career

Peter Crouch has allowed his brace against Galatasaray to briefly go to his head as he hailed his spectacular scissor kick as the best goal of his Liverpool career to date. He said: "It was a special moment for me to score that goal at the Kop end. I'd have to say it's the best of my Liverpool career so far. You don't get many goals like that, usually they go over the stand but thankfully that one went into the net and got us the win."

Here at Bratwurst we weren't surprised at Crouch's athleticism, especially after the amount of time he has spent practising. Here is the magic moment:

[Rob Parker]

ManYoo - Remember Benfica.

Man Yoo versus Benfica. It's a guaranteed banker for Fergie's lot... isn't it?

[Mof Gimmers]

Porto's Chelsea/Barcelona-bound wonderkid Anderson

Brazilian wonderkid Anderson is tipped to make frosty relations between Chelsea and Barcelona even icier as they battle it out for his signature. The 18-year-old has been dubbed 'the new Ronaldinho' because both players began their careers at Gremio. Keep an eye open for Anderson when Porto meet Arsenal this week and enjoy this compilation showcasing some of his skills.

[Rob Parker]

Steaua Bucharest living in denial on Cloud Nine

Steaua Bucharest's official website has decided against reporting on their 1-0 defeat to bitter rivals Dinamo Bucharest on Wednesday night. Instead the site's most recent news is waxing lyrical about Steaua's win over Dynamo Kiev in the Champions League last week.

By way of explanation, the website offers: "We are still in the ninth cloud and we cannot get to terms following to our win from Kiev in the first game of the E Section In Champions League." Old Communist habits die hard it seems! Dinamo, on the other hand, seem to vaguely recall the game in question and have even got a slideshow of photos from the match on their homepage!

[Rob Parker]

Jean Alain Boumsong's goal for Juventus against Crotone

Jean Alain Boumsong scored a goal (I know what you're thinking, but no - it wasn't an own goal!) for Juventus in their 3-0 Serie B win over Crotone on Tuesday night. It looked a lot like this:

Headed goals from corners? Where is your sense of entertainment, Jean Alain? Now this is more like it!

[Rob Parker]

Overweight Adriano ate all the Bratwurst, claims Mihajlovic

Brazil and Inter Milan striker (occasionally, at least) Adriano has been told to lose weight in order to get his career back on track. Inter club official Sinisa Mihajlovic has told the 24-year-old to slim down to regain his top form.

Mihajlovic said: "Fitness is essential if he wants to play as he used to. I believe he needs to lose at least five kilos as this can represent a big problem on the pitch." At the World Cup, Adriano and strike partner Ronaldo represented two huge problems on the pitch - in size rather than threat. Playing two articulated lorries up front would have provided greater mobility.

Overweight Adriano ate all the Bratwurst, claims Mihajlovic

Brazil's new coach Dunga has already shown he is not afraid to leave out the big names and dropped Adriano for his first squad, so it sounds like decent advice from the former Yugoslavia international. Mihajlovic admitted carrying a bit of excess weight during his time as a player and compared it to playing with a washing machine on his shoulders. [Via Football Italia]

[Rob Parker]

Sven eyes Arsenal, ManYoo and Liverpool for return

Former England failure coach Sven-Goran Eriksson is eyeing a top English club for his return to coaching. The Swede who drifted away from the England camp after a dismal World Cup in Germany said "I need to get back into coaching." before adding "Arsenal? Liverpool? Manchester? They're all big clubs, and any of those would be good."

Eriksson, who earned an astonishing £25m during his five-year spell in charge of the national side added: "It's the only thing in life I can do well." That may be true if you don't count cheating on the missus and getting pissed with fake Shieks.

[Mof Gimmers]

UEFA Cup Draw Announced

Spurs will make their return to Europe against Slavia Prague in the Uefa Cup first round, while Hearts are set to face Sparta Prague.

The first leg of Hearts' tie will be played at Murrayfield on 14 September, with the return leg on 28 September. Rangers will take on Molde, Blackburn will come up against Trappatoni's Salzburg, Newcastle are to face Levadia Tallin whilst West Ham are to face Palermo.

The best of the draw however is Northern Irish minnows, Derry City, taking on the mighty Paris St Germain.

For full draw, read over.

Hapoel v Tel-Aviv
Braga v Chievo
Levadia Tallin v Newcastle
Molde v Rangers
Standard Liege v Celta Vigo
Maccabi Haifa v Liteks Lovetch
Derry City v PSG
Hertha Berlin v Odense BK
Legia Warsaw v Austria Magna
Panathinaikos v Metallurg Zaporizhzhya
Lokomotiv Moscow v Zulte-Wargerem
Sparta Prague v Hearts*
Fenerbahce v Randers FC
SV Red Bull Salzburg v Blackburn
Schalke 04 v AS Nancy
Ethnikos Achnas v Lens
Liberec v Crvena Zvezda
AZ v Kayserispor
Rubin Kazan v Parma
Brondby v Eitracht Frankfurt
Atromitos v Sevilla
Besiktas v CSKA Sofia
Vitoria Setubal v Heerenveen
Marseille v Mlada Boleslav
Atvidabergs FF v Grasshopers
Rapid Bucuresti v Nacional
Trabzonspor v Osasuna
Basle v Rabotnicki Kometal
West Ham v Palermo
Feyenoord v Lokomotiv Sofia
SCP Ruzomberok v Club Brugge
FC Sion v Bayer Leverkusen
Partizan Belgrade v FC Groningen
FC Xanthi v Dinamo Bucuresti
Slavia Prague v Tottenham
IK Start v Ajax
Artmedia Bratislava v Espanyol
Wisla Krakow v Iraklis
Livorno v FC Superfund
Dinamo Zagreb v Auxerre.

*Hearts will play the first leg of their tie against Sparta Prague at Murrayfield.

Mof Gimmers

European Super Cup: The glitziest pre-season friendly around

The European Super Cup always looks good on paper, but is usually a big letdown. The year before the next match takes place is just long enough to forget how painfully dull the previous season's Super Cup was. Tonight Barcelona take on Sevilla to decide the true champions of Europe (snigger).

One of the better matches in recent years was the 2001 final between Liverpool and Bayern Munich. Liverpool (read Michael Owen) ran the German side ragged and raced to a 3-0 lead. Bayern pulled two goals back to set up a tense finale. Watch the video below to see the Liverpool goals (yes, that is Emile Heskey bursting past two defenders, staying on his feet and scoring!).

Rob

Champions League Draw: Chelsea in the same group as Barcelona

The draw for the Champions League group stage has taken place in Monaco with three big highlights. Chelsea have been drawn in Group A with Barcelona and Manchester United will play Celtic in Group F.

Perhaps the biggest highlight of the draw, though, was Uefa official Friedrich Stickler (the scary looking bloke pictured) urging Deco: "Please shuffle around a bit and give me your balls!" Click below to see the full draw.

Group A

Barcelona
Chelsea
Werder Bremen
Levski Sofia

Group B

Inter Milan
Bayern Munich
Sporting Lisbon
Spartak Moscow

Group C

Liverpool
PSV Eindhoven
Bordeaux
Galatasaray

Group D

Valencia
Roma
Olympiakos
Shakhtar Donetsk

Group E

Real Madrid
Lyon
Steaua Bucharest
Dynamo Kiev

Group F

Manchester United
Celtic
Benfica
FC Copenhagen

Group G

Arsenal
Porto
CSKA Moscow
Hamburg

Group H

AC Milan
Lille
AEK Athens
Anderlecht

Classic Uefa Cup Moments: AEK Athens beat Real Madrid

AEK Athens are favourites to beat Hearts to claim a place in the Champions League thanks to the 1-2 away lead they picked up at Tynecastle. In 1985, AEK beat Real Madrid 1-0 in the UEFA Cup first round (although Real won the second leg 5-0 and went on to win the competition!). Here is how the Greek side won the first leg - goalkeeping blunders galore.

Rob

The Bratwurst pickle: How should Liverpool line-up against Maccabi Haifa?

Remember Gerard Houllier's short-lived plans to create two separate Liverpool teams which he could rotate? Rafa Benitez could find himself in a similar position soon. He has allowed Anthony Le Tallec to leave on loan today, and I would guess a few more disgruntled fringe players will be asking for a move by January.

I found it difficult to trim Rafa's squad down to an XI for tonight's game, and I won't have thousands of angry Scousers shouting at me if I get it wrong (hopefully)! Do you agree with this line-up? Remember Jamie Carragher, John Arne Riise, Steve Finnan and Harry Kewell are all injured at the moment.

Rob

The Big Kick Offs

It's not just English football fans excited at the prospect of top-flight football getting underway again. Leagues around Europe have had - or are about to have - the big kick off. Bratwurst tours around the continent looking at the leagues which are just starting.

The Big Kick Offs continued

Belgium
The Big Kick Off: Two weeks ago (5/8/06)
Match of the Day: Genk v Standard Liege is an important early battle in the campaign for European football.
Title Favourites: Anderlecht 2/7 [Skybet]

England
The Big Kick Off: Today (19/8/06)
Match of the Day: Newly promoted Sheffield United take on Liverpool.
Title Favourites: Chelsea 2/5 [Paddy Power]

France
The Big Kick Off: Two weeks ago (4/8/06)
Match of the Day: Underachieving Auxerre take on a strong Marseille side.
Title Favourites: Lyon 2/7 [Stan James]

Germany
The Big Kick Off: Last week (11/8/06)
Match of the Day: A tasty looking match between Werder Bremen and Bayer Leverkusen.
Title Favourites: Bayern Munich 8/5 [Bet Direct]

Greece
The Big Kick Off: Today (19/8/06)
Match of the Day: A minor (relatively speaking) Athens derby between Aigaleo and Panathinaikos tomorrow.
Title Favourites: Olympiakos (pictured) 1/3 [Stan James]

Holland
The Big Kick Off: Yesterday (18/8/06)
Match of the Day: PSV Eindhoven begin their title defence tomorrow against NEC Nijmegen.
Title Favourites: PSV Eindhoven 11/10 [Stan James]

Spain
The Big Kick Off: Next week (27/8/06)
Match of the Day: Real Madrid v Champions League semi-finalists Villareal.
Title Favourites: Barcelona 8/13 [Stan James]

Rob

Roberto Carlos staying with Real Madrid

It looks like Roberto Carlos will see out the last year of his contract with Real Madrid before being put out to pasture. Despite interest from Chelsea (not a good buy for them in my opinion) and Fenerbahce the Brazilian full-back is set to stay at the Bernebau where he has been a loyal servant for 10 years.

Do you remember when Roberto Carlos used to get free kicks on target? No, me neither it was so long ago, but he did and some of his best are featured in this compilation along with a variety of other spectacular goals he has scored. My personal favourite is below.

Rob

Major League Soccer: Where eBay meets football

The Major League Soccer website has an auction section selling signed shirts and other memorabilia to raise money for charity. In fairness, it doesn't seem to be the bustling internet marketplace that eBay is, but if you want a signed shirt by your favourite 'soccer star' it is a good place to start looking. There are currently 19 shirts up for auction. The bidding is up to $260 on Cobi Jones's LA Galaxy shirt.

Rob

10 Things Newcastle fans need to know about Ventspils

The Uefa Cup second qualifying round draw followed the Champions League draw today. Newcastle United face a trip into the unknown against Latvia side Ventspils. For the full draw click here or click below for the lowdown on Newcastle's opponents.

1 Latvia is here:

2 Ventspils is here in Latvia:

3 FK Ventspils was only founded in 1997.

4 They finished third in the Latvian league last season to qualify for the UEFA Cup.

5 This season they are topping the table with an eight-point lead and a game in hand after 15 matches.

6 Ventspils have recently defeated arch-rivals (and arguably Latvia's best known team) FC Skonto 2-1 in a league match. Imagine a Baltic Arsenal v Manchester United grudge match.

7 They play in the Ventsplis Olimpiskais Stadions, which Geordies will be upset to learn holds just 3,200 people.

8 Ventspils beat GI Gotu from the Faroe Islands in the UEFA Cup first qualifying round.

9 Ventspils favour a 3-4-3 formation.

10 Ventspils bank account number is LV83HABA0001408060042. They are the first football club I have come across with this information on their official website!

Rob

10 Things Liverpool fans need to know about Maccabi Haifa

Liverpool have been handed a trip to Israel to play Maccabi Haifa in the Champions League third round qualifying draw. Click here for the full draw or click below to find out more about Maccabi Haifa.

10 Things Liverpool fans need to know about Maccabi Haifa continued

1 Haifa is just 25 miles from Israel's border with Lebanon and has come under attack from Hezbollah. Don't book your hotel just yet!

2 Maccabi Haifa managed a whole season unbeaten in the 1993-94 season, a decade before Arsenal did it.

3 Current Premiership players Yakubu and Yossi Bennayoun both played for Maccabi Haifa. Eyal Berkovic and Ronny Rosenthal are other ex-players.

4 Maccabi Haifa won the Israeli league for the tenth time last season.

5 The club had humble beginnings as a useless side that attempted to play attractive Brazilian style football. It had been in existence for more than 30 years before buckling down and playing top-flight football.

6 They play at the 14,000 capacity Qiryat Eliezer, which they share with Hapoel Haifa.

7 Maccabi Haifa reached the quarter-final of the 1999 Cup Winners' Cup, beating Paris St Germain on the way.

8 An Israeli national team consisting of the Maccabi Haifa under-12s recently won the Fox Kids World Cup!

9 Big Sam Allardyce has just snapped up former Everton flop Idan Tal from Maccabi Haifa.

10 Maccabi Haifa is a sports club, not a football club. It also has weightlifting and swimming teams.

Rob

Derry well done - City knock IFK Gothenburg out of UEFA Cup

Derry City pulled off a UEFA Cup shock by beating IFK Gothenburg - just about the highest profile side they could have faced at this stage - 2-0 on aggregate. The Eircom League side rammed Niclas Alexandersson's disrespectful words down his mouth as a Stephen O'Flynn penalty was enough to see them through.

Drogheda and Llanelli also came through their ties and will be in today's second qualifying round draw at midday, along with Newcastle and Gretna. Meanwhile, Arsenal, Liverpool, Hearts and Cork will find out who their opponents for the Champions League third round qualifying will be at 11am today.

Rob

Italian match-fixing sentences slashed - what a joke

The four clubs involved in the Italian match-fixing scandal have been given more lenient sentences following successful appeals. Like a weak parent who threatens to ground their child before caving in, the Italian Football Federation has reinstated Lazio and Fiorentina to Serie A, allowed AC Milan to compete in the Champions League and cut Juventus's points deduction.

Italian match-fixing sentences slashed - what a joke continued

If the clubs were not now close enough to getting away unpunished, they are planning further appeals to get the sentences cut again or overturned. This is despite the fact that the only defence argument made public is that the initial sentences punished the supporters (so?) and could damage the careers of top players (sell them if you are that worried).

The Federation had a chance to show that corruption would not be tolerated in Italian football and it now seems to have blown it. Below are the new sentences for each club.

AC Milan
Re-instated to Champions League
Points deduction cut from 15 points to eight points
Banned from home stadium for one match

Fiorentina
Re-instated to Serie A at the expense of Lecce
Points deduction increased from 12 points to 19 points
Banned from home stadium for three matches

Juventus
Remain relegated to Serie B
Points deduction cut from 30 points to 17 points
Banned from home stadium for three matches

Lazio
Re-instated to Serie A at the expense of Treviso
Points deduction increased from seven points to 11 points
Banned from home stadium for two matches

Rob Parker

Villareal crash out of Europe as Diego Forlan flips

Last season's Champions League semi-finalists Villareal have been knocked out of the Intertoto Cup by Slovenian team Maribor. The sides drew 1-1 in Slovenia last week and Maribor triumphed 1-2 in the second leg.

Villareal - who had played 43 minutes of the first leg with ten men - had three players sent off in the last ten minutes of the match. Click here to see all the goals, here to see the red cards, or enjoy boxing lessons with Diego Forlan below.

Rob Parker

Darren Bent to miss start of season because he's thick

Darren Bent is to miss the start of the new season, including the England friendly against Greece... because he's so stupid he can't do a simple thing like make a sandwich. 365 reports that "Bent could be ruled out for up to six weeks after cutting his hand while chopping bread and onions."

At first, there were worries that he had severed a tendon in his hand, but it turns out that the dunce has just severely cut his hand open, making full contact sport dangerous for up to six weeks. Tune in next week to see if Bent has flicked an eye out whilst trying to open a tin of peas.

Mof Gimmers

Bergkamp Testimonial unveils the new Arsenal stadium

Tomorrow, the brand spanking new Arsenal Stadium will have its curtain well and truly raised in the form of Dennis Bergkamp's testimonial match against Ajax. The match will be shown live on Five tomorrow at 4.40pm. Not only will it give us a chance to look back at Bergkamp's excellent career, but also a closer look at the Emirates Stadium. Here's hoping the roof is lifted off in tribute to one of the Premiership's greatest stars.

Mof Gimmers

Just what is going on at Villa?

Aston Villa, as far as I'm concerned, are not a big club. Yes their ground has the FA Cup Semi Finals, and they're in a city, but good grief, since Doug Ellis has turned the club into a slumber party, they've been duller than warm lettuce. It's worth noting that the last time Doug stepped down, Villa won in Europe and a league title. With Dreary O'Leary the latest scapegoat, it would seem the new candidates for the dubious honour are the usual suspects... Curbishley and O'Neill. So, just is going on at Villa?
Is it Doug? Is it bad management? Bad signings? Or a mixture of the above?

Mof Gimmers

The force is strong with Celta Vigo

It seems Real Madrid are not the only Spanish club with a policy of snapping up famous names. Celta Vigo have completed the signing of George Lucas. The 22-year-old Brazilian wing-back has joined on a one-year deal from Gremio.

Moving on with Jedi precision, Nigerian John Obi Mikel (originator of the Didi Hamann double transfer) has been given a work permit to finalise his protracted move to Chelsea.

Rob Parker

Ace own goal from Jamie Pollock

With the new season nearly upon us, it is time to start our anticipation for dazzling skills, mind bending strikes... and complete buffoonery. Let's hope for some Jamie Pollock style class from Christiano Ronaldo in front of his own goal eh?

Mof Gimmers

Charity Shield curtain raiser is nigh

Sunday 13th August. That's the start of our beloved new season. The Charity Shield give us all the chance to stop moping about the house, and finally get some proper football in. The might of Chelski will take on Liverpool at the Millenium Stadium (although it's about time we got to see the new Wembley) in the curtain raiser to the new season, and I can't wait. Any predictions?

Mof Gimmers

Fiorentina fans to 'cut Italy in half'

After the joys of winning the World Cup, Italy must now deal with the reprecussions of the demotion of their top sides. Fiorentina fans are most recent to kick a stink up by blocking a major train route through Italy.

Fiorentina have been relegated to Serie B, where they will start next season at a 12-point disadvantage in an effort to prevent their immediate promotion back to the top flight. It has been reported that around 300 Fiorentina fans invaded a train station in Florence and sat on the rails, threatening to block north-south rail traffic through Italy, after being spurred to action by one of the country's most admired cultural figures, Franco Zeffirelli. He said "We have to show somehow that we don't agree. "I abhor preaching violence, but I have a very serious and determined attitude to this issue."

Mof Gimmers

Intertoto Cup: Newcastle 1-1 Lillestrom

Here are the goals from Newcastle's 1-1 draw with Lillestrom of Norway on Saturday which you may have missed because the game was not televised (yes, apparently there are still some untelevised matches!). Misfit Albert Luque - pretty much the Magpies only fit striker - scored Newcastle's goal. The second leg is this Saturday.

Rob Parker

Gennaro Gattuso performs a u-turn to head for Manchester United

Italian World Cup winner Gennaro Gatusso seems to have had a slight change of heart over his future. The AC Milan midfielder and part-time Captain Hook lookalike is reportedly close to joining Manchester United just days after promising to stay at the San Siro even if Milan were relegated (which they weren't!).

Gennaro Gattuso performs a u-turn to head for Manchester United continued

On Friday Gattuso said: "I spoke to our vice-president Adriano Galliani and told him again that I'm not going anywhere. I have a really long contract with Milan. I won't quit. Should Milan be relegated to Serie B, I'll go there too."

Today the 28-year-old has changed his tune. He said: "It has always been my dream to play for United." His agent Alessandro D'Amico added: "We must think carefully about the situation and, over the next few days, decide the next step." [Via The Sun]

Rob Parker

Italy's sale of the century about to start

The rumour mill has kicked into overdrive as the agents of some of Italy's top footballers plot an escape route from Serie B football following the relegation of Juventus, Lazio and Fiorentina. It is hard to keep track of who is going where, but the BBC has put together this handy guide detailing which players are attracting Premiership attention (according to the tabloids at least).

Freddy Adu goes crazy

Teen sensation Freddy Adu has officially flipped. The 17-year-old DC United and USA star has revealed he is interested in a move to Celtic. Adu, who has resisted moves to some of Europe's top clubs, has now said he would be interested in a move to Parkhead.

The starlet was obviously impressed by Celtic as he and his DC United team-mates thrashed the Bhoys 4-0 in a recent friendly. The unlikely broker in any deal would be former Celtic winger Steve Guppy. It was Guppy's endless bragging that apparently raised Adu's interest in Celtic. Adu's advisers might feel more inclined to push him towards Barcelona, Chelsea or Arsenal! [Via Daily Record]

Italian match-fixing official verdict

The verdict of the Italian match-fixing trial has seen three of the four clubs involved relegated. As we reported yesterday, Juventus, Lazio and Fiorentina will all start next season in Serie B. AC Milan avoid relegation, but will be banned from the Champions League for one season.

The points deductions handed out to the teams were larger than yesterday's press reports suggested. Juventus have had 30 points deducted, which effectively confines them to Serie B for at least two seasons. AC Milan were penalised 15 points, Fiorentina were deducted 12 points and Lazio have lost seven points.

Italian match-fixing official verdict continued

Yesterday's winners were Lecce, Messina and Treviso - who all avoided relegation because of the verdict - and Roma, Chievo and Palermo - who picked up Champions League places. Inter Milan are likely to be awarded last season's Serie A title which was stripped from Juve. Click here to read more.

Lowly Derry shock IFK Goteborg in Uefa Cup

Swedish giants IFK Goteborg suffered a shock 1-0 defeat at home to Irish side Derry City in the Uefa Cup qualifying round last night. Mug of the match was Sweden World Cup player and former Everton midfielder Niclas Alexandersson. He was alleged to have said before the game that IFK would be able to take a holiday in Ireland for the second leg.

His mind must have been wandering to his holiday when Derry's Shaun Hargan lost him from a corner with ten minutes to go to score a vital away goal. Derry's official website will no doubt keep you updated with exactly what was said once they sober up!

Rob Parker

Champions League Qualifying continues

The Champions League first round qualifying continues tonight with Welsh champions The New Saints in action against Finnish side MyPa. TNS (the artist formerly known as Total Network Solutions) played Liverpool in the preliminary stages of last season's competition.

Northern Ireland's Linfield began their Champions League campaign with a 1-3 defeat at home to Gorica of Slovenia. Click here for all the other results and fixtures.

Rob Parker

Champions League Qualifying continues

The Champions League first round qualifying continues tonight with Welsh champions The New Saints in action against Finnish side MyPa. TNS (the artist formerly known as Total Network Solutions) played Liverpool in the preliminary stages of last season's competition.

Northern Ireland's Linfield began their Champions League campaign with a 1-3 defeat at home to Gorica of Slovenia. Click here for all the other results and fixtures.

Rob Parker

Kit Parade: Linfield

Northern Irish champions Linfield are the first UK outfit to venture into European football this season. If you want to support them against Gorica of Slovenia tonight, you can purchase the blue home shirt from their official website for £38.

The shirt is gamely modelled here by striker Glenn Ferguson, who will miss tonight's match because he is on a family holiday. Ah, a simpler kind of football!!!

Rob Parker

Football is dead, long live football

You may recall we told you that once the World Cup was over, Who Ate All The Bratwurst would continue as your one-stop-blog for all European, world and international football. Well, with the Italian FA still trying to prise the World Cup from Fabio Cannavaro's bear-like grasp, the Champions League gets under way tonight!

It is fair to say that some of Europe's great sides are not entering the competition just yet, but tonight's fixtures include Linfield v Gorica and Armenian table-toppers FC Pyunik v FC Sheriff of Moldova. Mouthwatering!

Rob Parker

Welcome the players to the pitch in style

When England players walk out onto the hallowed turf of wherever, we English fans clap and shout... and that's about it. What I'm saying is, we could do more. For those of us going this summer, get the ticker tape out, get the flags out, streamers, confetti, flares... the lot. Take the lead from the River Plate fans in Argentina. It's no coincidence that they always do well y'know...

[Mof Gimmers]

Andriy Shevchenko signs for Chelsea

Surprise, surprise. As I said before, no other club in the world would be both rich enough and stupid enough to shell out £30 million for a player fast approaching his 30th birthday. Jose Mourinho said of the transfer yesterday: 'Today is a day when the dream became reality. Andriy has always been my first choice for Chelsea since I arrived.' He would say that, wouldn't he?

I admit Shev's still a very good player, but he's not going to get any better. Anyone out there who actually thinks this is good business?

Pele vs Eusebio

In 1962, the World Club Championship took place. The teams taking part were Benfica and Santos. Not that anyone noticed. It was a showdown. Pele vs Eusebio. Pele dominated the match, and capped a performance by making a mug of the Portuguese Prince. Eusebio got his own back in the '66 World Cup.

Mof Gimmers

Shevchenko almost certain to sign for Chelsea

Andriy Shevchenko has confirmed he's leaving AC Milan, for 'family reasons'. This leaves the door wide open for Chelsea to sign the Ukraine legend – because, let's face it, no-one else is willing to pay more than £100 grand a week for a 29-year-old striker who is past his best. Sure, Shev has been a great player – one of the greatest centre-forwards of the last decade, in fact – but I can't see how this represents good business for the west London club. Do you agree?

Video compilation of Arsenal transfer target Tomas Rosicky

Looks 99% likely that Rosicky will be an Arsenal player by the start of next season. Clearly a direct Bergkamp replacement. Here's a video of him in action – he falls down a lot but he's also a bit special (oh, and his missus is rather tasty). Enjoy…

Don't Rain On My Parade

If anyone sees Alanis Morissette, tell her this is ironic.

Originally spotted by the fine people at Mediawatch.

Daryl Grove

Henry poised to sign new Arsenal deal

Thierry Henry has given Arsenal, and fans of Premiership football, some great news. Henry is to end months of speculation over his future by penning a new deal with The Gunners.

'I hope to stay as long as I can keep running. I couldn't leave the fans. They're like family,' the striker told The Sun. 'I love Barcelona, but on Wednesday Arsenal showed they had heart. I hope to finalise details today.'

Whether or not Henry meant 'Arsenal showed me they had heart, Barca showed me they were a bunch of cheats' is unclear. Henry was certainly unhappy at the conduct of some of the players from the Catalan club, particularly in the way they brandished cards to the referee in key moments of the game.

On the flight back from Arsenal's Champions League final defeat in Paris, Arsenal's record goalscorer is reported to have told fellow passengers 'we will come back next year'. If he does pledge his future to Arsenal, it will be a huge boost to the club ahead of their move to their new Emirates Stadium next season. It will also help cushion the loss of striker Dennis Bergkamp, who is retiring after 11 years' sterling service to the club.

Mof Gimmers

Champions League Final Highlights

Of course, it was predicted that Jens Lehmann would do something a bit daft by me, and well, after the linesman debacle, it wasn't surprising that the match officials had a stinker. This won't help Gooners up and down the country, but really they did us proud didn't they?

Mof Gimmers

10 Champions League Final Conclusions

1. Thierry Henry should have had a 'fine counter' on the bottom of the screen during his post-match interview to show how much it was going to cost him.

2. Whatever Henry said it was always going to sound like sour grapes.

3. Maybe UEFA should have got rid of referee Terje Hauge when they ditched one of his assistants.

10 Champions League Final Conclusions cont…

4. It's a real shame Samuel Eto'o isn't going to the World Cup.

5. Ashley Cole needs all three warm-up games before the World Cup. Ludovic Guily is a decent player, but Garrincha he ain't. Cole rarely got near him.

6. Somebody should have told Manuel Almunia that Rafael Marquez probably wasn't the best out-ball.

7. Commentators still tempt fate even if they get their words in a muddle. David Pleat said: 'The sight is now in end.' And Barca scored their first goal about a minute later.

8. Even Ronaldinho can mess things up. His miskick on the edge of the Arsenal box was a joy to behold.

9. Almunia could have done better on both goals. You could not blame him for Eto'o scoring from the position he was in, but to get beaten at his near post was poor…

10. It was a bit odd that the trophy presentation was delayed while Henry went around kissing children and moaning to anyone who would listen.

Rob Parker

Champion's League Final Preview

Bloody hell! The excitement is getting the better of me! Arsenal, peaking just at the right time, playing the glitterati of Barca. Guily, Deco, Xavi, Eto'o… oh, and Ronladinho. To further my giddiness, some nice soul has put together this very nice preview to dampen the tastebuds.

Mof Gimmers

The Bratwurst pickle: will the Champions League final be Thierry Henry's final game for Arsenal?

Will TH stay or will he go?

I think he'll stay, whatever the outcome in Paris tonight. He's top dog at Arsenal and the emergence of so many talented youngsters means the club's future is bright - plus there's a shiny new stadium to play in next season.

Henry would play second fiddle to Ronaldinho at the Nou Camp, plus he wouldn't be guaranteed a regular starting place – although his chances of becoming Barca's top striker would be pretty good (I doubt Samuel Eto'o would hang around if Henry arrived; Eto'o for Chelsea?). Henry must be sorely tempted to move to new pastures though, if only for a fresh challenge. I think that would be a mistake (look at Vieira/Juventus). Only the great man himself can resolve this pickle.

Hot tomato sauce, I'm looking forward to the game though.

23 Reasons to watch the Arsenal vs Barca Champions League final

There will be 23 World Cup players in the squads for tonight's Champions League final between Arsenal of France England and Spanish giants Barcelona. And that's without Theo Walcott, Emmanuel Adebayor and Xavi. Coverage of the match starts at 7pm on ITV1. Click below to read the full list of World Cup talent on display.

23 Reasons to watch the Arsenal vs Barca Champions League final

Arsenal:

Jens Lehmann (Germany)

Ashley Cole (England)

Phillipe Senderos (Switzerland)

Johan Djourou (Switzerland)

Sol Campbell (England)

Kolo Toure (Ivory Coast)

Emmanuel Eboue (Ivory Coast)

Freddie Ljungberg (Sweden)

Gilberto Silva (Brazil)

Jose Antonio Reyes (Spain)

Cesc Fabregas (Spain)

Thierry Henry (France)

Robin van Persie (Netherlands)

Barcelona:

Edmilson (Brazil)

Rafael Marquez (Mexico)

Carlos Puyol (Spain)

Gio van Bronckhorst (Netherlands)

Deco (Portugal)

Andres Iniesta (Spain)

Ronaldinho (Brazil)

Mark van Bommel (Netherlands)

Henrik Larsson (Sweden)

Lionel Messi (Argentina)

Rob Parker (I'm not playing for Barca!)

Armed gunmen demand Champions League final tickets

Two armed men burst into a council meeting in Paris yesterday and demanded free tickets to Wednesday's Champions League final between Arsenal and Barcelona. The hooded men climbed up the walls of a council building in St Denis and through the window of the fourth-floor room where the meeting was being held, declaring: 'We want to see the mayor. We want tickets!' But the mayor, who is often granted guest tickets to major sporting occasions, could not be found and the intruders left empty-handed. Well, if you don't ask, you don't get…

Bye-Bye Jay-Jay

It's difficult to even consider what Bolton Wanderers progress would have been like without Jay Jay Okocha strutting his stuff through the West Pennine Moors. At times, Okocha was simply jaw dropping. Anyone recall his freekick against Villa? As pivotal as he was, the 05/06 season was to be Okocha's last in a Bolton shirt after he was released by the club. Let's tip our hats to the Super Eagle.

[Mof Gimmers]

Roeder named Newcastle manager, Shearer named 'sporting ambassador'. WTF?

No surprise that caretaker boss Glen Roeder has been confirmed as Newcastle's boss, but what on earth is Shearer's new job title – 'sporting ambassador' – all about? I guess it's a flattering shorthand for 'trainee manager'.

With these tight trousers, you are really spoiling us, Alan, etc etc.

A look at Paulo Di Canio

It's a shame Paulo Di Canio never got to play in a World Cup. He was a colourful chap who liked to push the odd ref over and always on hand for a good quote. The best being "If West Ham don't win something this year, I'll jump into a vat of boiling fat...". Shame about the old fascist sympathising however.

[Mof Gimmers]

Ballack to be unveiled by Chelsea

Michael Ballack, Frank Lampard, Claude Makelele… pretty decent midfield, you have to say. Chelski should confirm Ballack's signing later today, and there's increasing speculation that an unsettled Andriy Shevchenko will sign for Abramovich too. Football365 has the full story, with quotes and everything.

Spurs get new shirt sponsors. No, it's not Krappa

Tottenham Hotspur have signed a four-year, £34million shirt deal with internet casino group Mansion. Mansion were in the running for a similar deal with Man Utd, but the Mancs chose some American financial company instead. Puma will make Spurs' new shirts, taking over from K(r)appa.

Once In A Lifetime - documentary about the New York Cosmos hits UK cinemas this week

Before the galacticos of Real Madrid there was the superstars of the New York Cosmos. In 1977 the Cosmos enticed the likes of Pele, Carlos Alberto, Franz Beckenbauer and Johan Cruyff to play for them - making them football's answer to the Harlem Globetrotters.

Once In A Lifetime is a film documenting a time when soccer became New York's most fashionable form of entertainment and explains why the rock'n'roll lifestyle of all those involved with the club could never last. Click here to see the trailer.

The film will open at selected cinemas this Friday [via Retro to Go].

Rob Parker

FA Cup Final: 10 Conclusions

1. The team with most English penalty takers will invariably lose.

2. Steven Gerrard is deadly - even with cramp.

3. As wisely pointed out pre-match by Nigel Reo-Coker, Marlon Harewood (pictured) is in fact the black Homer Simpson.

4. If Reo-Coker makes it to the World Cup, England could have a spine of Rio, Reo and Theo.

5. Robbie Fowler is an honest lad. He had the opportunity to nick a winner's medal when handed one, but let his conscience guide him.

6. Prince William is balding and turning into his dad.

7. Dean Ashton is balding and turning into a really good player.

8. Sven Goran Eriksson misses around five matches worth of football each season by leaving games early.

9. Players might be playing too many games if they are getting cramp 80 minutes into a game.

10. There may be no FA Cup left next year by the team the Liverpool players have finishing throwing the lid around. 

Rob Parker

Steven Gerrard's FA Cup Final kit

It would be good to see Steven Gerrard take the pitch at the Millenium Stadium dressed a bit like this today. I have a feeling he might be in his normal kit and throwing himself all over the place as usual though.

Don't forget the cotton wool around those metatarsals Stevie, and keep away from Trinidad and Tobago keeper Shaka Hislop!  FA Cup Final coverage starts at 1pm on BBC1.

Rob Parker

Cup final Saturday: day of the underdog?

Two tantalising British cup finals to look forward to today, both featuring notable underdogs. In Scotland, Gretna have done amazingly well to reach the final, where they face Hearts. Can they take out the jammy half of Edinburgh, having thumped Hibs 4-0 in their semi-final? I hope so, but my head says different. The game, which takes place at Hampden, is live on BBC One Scotland from 3pm.
Prediction: Hearts 3 : 1 Gretna

In England (well, Cardiff to be precise), West Ham United meet Liverpool. The Hammers are underdogs, but not massively so. They've played some great football this season under Alan Pardew and I hope they do the business against Rafa Benitez's ultra-professional team. I don't really mind who lifts the FA Cup, as long as Steven Gerrard comes through the game with his metatarsals intact.
Prediction: Liverpool 2 : 0 West Ham

Juve in crisis as board quits

The entire board of Juventus has resigned admid reports of corruption from its executives.

The BBC have reported, saying "Italy's Football Federation is probing Juve general manager Luciano Moggi over allegations of collusion in appointing referees for Juventus games."

This news sours what was to be a great weekend for the 'Old Lady' as they look to clinch the Serie A title on Sunday.

Rumours about Juve's dealings have always been clouded and the Agnelli's (who own a lionshare of the club) have often been linked with dodgy goings on. Franco Carraro and Innocenzo Mazzini, the president and vice-president of the Federation, have already resigned their positions in the wake of the publication of the taps.

General manager, Moggi, is at the centre of the probes which are investigating the operation of the GEA management company headed by his son Alessandro, which controls almost 200 players and coaches in Italy. On Wednesday, sources in Turin said that Juve CEO Antonio Giraudo was under investigation for false accounting relating to player transfers.

Giraudo and Moggi are both members of the Juventus board but it was not immediately clear how the resignation of the board would affect their full time positions with the club.                    

[Mof Gimmers]

Alan Shearer bows out with emotional testimonial

Alan Shearer made his farewell appearance for Newcastle United last night in his testimonial match against Celtic.  The post-match presentations brought a lump to the throat as Big Al struggled to hold back the tears.  Newcastle won the match 3-2, with Shearer scoring a (scripted) last-minute winner from the penalty spot.

Referee Mark Clattenburg had almost spoilt the party though.  He got a bit carried away when last-man Peter Ramage brought down Shaun Maloney for a penalty.  Clattenburg was about to send Ramage off when he suddenly realised where he was and though better of it!

Sadly Shearer only played in one World Cup, but his performances at Euro 96 will live long in the memory.  He might even have been in the frame for this World Cup if he was fit.  Well Emile Heskey got a mention, didn't he?!

Here are 10 of Shearer's greatest Newcastle goals.

Rob Parker

Stuart Pearce's spring clean

Psycho has looked at his bloated Man City squad and decided to have a ruthless spring clean. Can't blame him really. He's getting rid of 10 players, including Kiki Musampa (pictured), David Sommeil and Albert Riera. The first two don't surprise me that much, but I thought Riera looked a pretty decent player. What's your take on this clear-out, City fans?

The must-have shirt for Sunderland/Newcastle fans

Maybe you're a Sunderland fan who would like a little more joy in your life? Or maybe you're just a sarcastic bugger who lives on Teeside? Show Boro fans how cruel life is with a replica shirt of the all-conquering Sevilla side that battered a piss-poor side live on telly. Failing that, you could always sport a weird plastic mask like Mark Schwarzer.

Mof Gimmers

Boro vs Sevilla: 10 conclusions

1) I'd have felt sorrier for Middlesbrough last night if they'd have shown more attacking ambition. Deciding to sit tight, hope you don't concede a goal and then attack like crazy in the final 10 minutes of the match is, frankly, a shit tactic.

2) Mark Viduka has a perfectly square head.

3) Stewart Downing is not ready to solve England's perennial 'problem on the left'…

(continues after the jump)

Boro vs Sevilla: 10 conclusions cont…

4) I'm still worried about Steve McClaren's ability to do the England job. When Boro went a goal down, he appeared to panic.

5) That lad Morrison fell over a lot on the right wing.

6) George Boateng is a niggly so-and-so.

7) Sevilla boasted one of the shortest players I have ever seen on a professional football pitch - from a distance their no.3, David, looked like a little mascot. ESPN Soccernet lists diddy David as 1.66m tall, which equals roughly 5ft4in.

8) Why are Sevilla sponsored by a company called Stevenson? Was that just for the final? Who is this mysterious Stevenson? Answers on a postcard please…

9) Jon Champion is a terrible commentator, always talking in cliches or quoting previous statistics (or plugging something else on ITV, like a mini-series starring Ross Kemp), but rarely about what's happening on the pitch. Most of the stuff that comes out of his mouth sounds rehearsed.

10) I feel sorry for Boro's fans, more than the players –  they waited so long for European glory, but in the end Sevilla deserved their comfortable win. They showed much more ambition and didn't dive all over the place, either. I admired them a lot, even if captain Navarro is an ugly old bruiser. (Boro also deserved that penalty though.)

Steve McClaren bows out before England duty

So the new England boss will leave Boro a legend. Who can blame the fans for thinking that? Long gone are the days of Bernie Slaven showing his arse in shop windows, because tonight, England's next manager will lead his current club side out in the final of the UEFA Cup, against Sevilla.

You'll be able to watch their progress on ITV tonight starting at 7:30pm. Good luck lads!
Mof Gimmers

Ruud, Ronaldo and Sir Alex: that's another fine mess at Man Utd

What the devil is going on at Old Trafford? The rumoured tension between Alex Ferguson, Ruud van Nistelrooy and Cristiano Ronaldo surely means that at least one of the these three won't be around at the start of the next Premiership season…

Ruud, Ronaldo and Sire Alex: that's another fine mess at Man Utd cont…

Setanta Sport has reported that Ruud and Ronaldo detest each other and that may have something to do with Fergie banishing Ruud for Roy Keane's testimonial last night (in which Keane played a half for each team, by the way).

European football correspondent Graham Hunter told Setanta.com:

'In January, Ruud van Nistelrooy and Cristiano Ronaldo, who literally cannot stand the sight of each other, traded punches in training, and van Nistelrooy left Ronaldo with a broken face.' This supposedly stemmed from a bust-up on the training pitch the day before; Ronaldo wouldn't pass the ball (hmm, sound familiar?), and van Nistelrooy got pissed off, not for the first time.

Hunter continues: 'Ronaldo gives van Nistelrooy some lip, it ends up in a fight, and van Nistelrooy as he always does, needles into Ronaldo, and says "Yeah, yeah, go running to your Dad."' …He means Carlos Quieroz, Ferguson's assistant. Ronaldo's own father had died during the season, and finally, in the face of this abuse, Ronaldo burst into tears on the pitch and shouts "I don't have a Dad, he's dead."'

Strong stuff, but difficult to say if Hunter knows the truth or is merely speculating. It sounds credible, at least.

Hunter also claimed that Ronaldo, not Ruud, could leave Man U this summer. Apparently the Portuguese winger is pissed off with English football and wants a move to Real Madrid. Again, I can believe that – Ronaldo takes a kicking in every match he plays.

Ooh, it's just like Hollyoaks!

 

The Strange Careers of Chelsea Left-Backs

It's not National John Terry Day, honestly (although that could be an idea).  It is purely coincidence that I found this excellent interview with the man himself from Sunday's Observer which is well worth a read.

The interview mentions Jon Harley, who actually broke into the Chelsea first-team before Terry but now plays for Burnley.  I thought I'd look at the strange careers of some of Chelsea's promising young left-backs of recent years.

Jon Harley

There was a time when it seemed Jon Harley (pictured above) would be the member of that particular group of Chelsea players (John Terry, Jody Morris et al) to really make it big.  He played 17 games in the 1999-2000 season at the age of 21 under Gianluca Vialli.  The following season he made a further 10 appearances but was also farmed out on loan to Wimbledon by Claudio Ranieri.

In the summer of 2001, Fulham boss Jean Tigana paid a whopping £3.5 million for Harley.  He never really settled at Craven Cottage, making just 19 league starts in three years and spending a large proportion of that time on loan at Sheffield United and West Ham.

He joined the Blades on a free transfer in 2004 and was almost an ever-present for a season.  He then moved on to mid-table Championship side Burnley - initially on loan and then permanently for £75,000 - at the start of this season.  He was recently voted the club's player of the season.

Danny Granville

Granville actually came through the ranks at Cambridge United and was 22 years old when Ruud Gullit paid £300,000 to take him to Stamford Bridge.  He won the European Cup Winners' Cup at the club, but found himself being overlooked in favour of Graeme Le Saux.  In 1998 he was flogged to Leeds for £1.6 million.

He made just seven starts in a little over a year at Elland Road before moving on to Manchester City for £1 million.  Again Granville found himself out of the first-team, but did manage 46 starts in his two years with City.

Granville's stock had halved when Crystal Palace paid £500,000 to secure his services in December 2001 (ah, the days before transfer windows).  He now seems to have settled at Selhurst Park, although fans accuse him of being a serial ball-watcher.

Scott Minto

The original young Chelsea left-back with a strange career (and a great name) was Scott Minto.  Minto - the chewy sweet that will keep your breath fresh for up to two hours - joined Chelsea in 1994 at the age of 23 from Charlton Athletic in a £775,000 deal.

He struggled with injuries but won the FA Cup in 1997.  As seems to be the norm, after that success he was promptly sold.  The move was to Benfica of all places where a presumably homesick Graeme Souness  decided to surround himself with British players.

He played 31 matches in his 18 months in Portugal before West Ham paid £1 million to bring him home.  Injuries again affected Minto's career.  He played 51 games for the Hammers, who did not renew his contact in 2003.  He then joined Rotherham, but has recently been released from Millmoor too.  Aged 34 and still struggling with injuries he is expected to retire.

Who knows what the future holds for Wayne Bridge?

Rob Parker

Football underdogs

In football, almost anything can happen. North Korea beating Italy in '66. Sutton beating Arsenal in the FA Cup. This year's World Cup should be no different. So let's celebrate some of the great FA Cup underdogs.

Mof Gimmers

Spurs poisoned?

It's been a weird week for Spurs fans. Quite funny for everyone else. With the 'Tottingham' side in Europe again (although not in the way they'd hoped) the news was obviously soured by the food-poisoning incident.

Well, judging by this T-Shirt, available from Football 365, the Spurs were undone by sneaky Gunners chomping for the Champion's League Spot.

Mof Gimmers

Robbie Fowler: 100 Liverpool goals

Is Andy Johnson really a better standby option than Fowler? Clue: the answer begins with N and ends in O.

Glenn Hoddle: The Master

Did Glenn Hoddle ever score a rubbish goal? It certainly doesn't seem like it. As a child growing up in a rough northern town, I was taught to hate southern jessies and surely God-bothering Glenn was top of the list? Well, no. I thought he was ace. This video shows you why. Something to cheer up Spurs fans after their weekend horribilis.

Mof Gimmers

New Spurs shirt sponsor

As a grieving Tottenham fan I'm loathe to post this picture of Spurs' new kit, but grudgingly admit that it's slightly amusing. Bloody Gooners and their smug satisfaction at finishing in fourth place. Whatever next - Theo Walcott picked ahead of Jermain Defoe for England?

Robbie Fowler to get new contract

Great news from Anfield: Robbie Fowler will sign a one-year contract for Liverpool next week. For a while it looked like Rafael Benitez would shatter God's dreams and offload him. I'm delighted to report that the Spaniard has come to his senses. I still believe Fowler could do a job on the bench for England this summer (if he improved his fitness by another 10 percent), but I doubt Sven agrees.

Your club's World Cup Stars: Middlesbrough

The Middlesbrough squad list is a bit like a who's who of players who are not living up to their potential.  Fabio Rochemback and Massimo Maccarone were both tipped to become international stars and have never quite delivered, while Gaizka Mendieta has gone off the boil.  Some Middlesbrough players are likely to make this year's World Cup though, so here are our assessments of them (and we've chucked in Mendieta to make the numbers up!)

Your club's World Cup stars: Middlesbrough

Despite a bit of hissy fit earlier in the season, Mark Schwarzer is still one of the Premiership's more consistent goalkeepers.  He is likely to be Australia's second choice behind Guus Hiddink's favourite Zeljko Kalac.  If he does appear he will be complete with comedy face mask after having his cheekbone smashed up by Dean Ashton.  He kindly set the stage for the first of Boro's great Uefa Cup comebacks by conceding two sloppy goals in a nightmare performance in Basle.  Verdict: 7 out of 10 - generally a very safe pair of hands and should be Aussie number one.

The Socceroos' third-choice could well be Boro's Brad Jones.  He has been filling in for Schwarzer in the last few matches and will continue to do so in the Uefa Cup final.  His baby-face and lack of first-team matches mean he looks like a good prospect, but at 24 Jones now needs to find some consistency in his game.  He is still not officially committed to Australia because he has not represented them in a competitive match and still qualifies to play for France through his wife (pretty unlikely though that is). Verdict: 5 out of 10 - not consistent enough to become a Premiership first-choice but probably the third best keeper available to Australia.

A late bloomer internationally speaking, George Boateng has benefited from the rise to prominence of the midfield holding role (see Makelele in the dictionary).  He is starting to gather a handful of caps, and Marco van Basten is known to be a fan.  He is in the Dutch provisional squad and don't be surprised to see him in the final 23.  Heroic in Boro's comeback against Steaua Bucharest.  Tenacious, hard in the tackle and the glue that holds the Middlesbrough side together.  Verdict: 8 out of 10 - capable of shoring up the leakiest of defences.

Gaizka Mendieta was the first name on the Spanish teamsheet just a few years ago, but he is unlikely to travel to Germany unless Spain have a midfield injury crisis.  Mendieta's career has unravelled some what since he left Valencia.  Although he has shown glimpses of his best this season, Spain have too many decent alternatives to be getting all nostalgic.  At 31, Mendieta might have played his last game for Spain and should concentrate on performing every week in the Premiership.  Verdict: 7 out of 10 - are you comfy on those laurels Senor Mendieta?

The jewel of Boro's Youth Cup winning crown, from what we have seen so far, is Stewart Downing.  He has an outside chance of making the England squad.  You would imagine that it is a straight race between Kieran Richardson and Downing to go along as Joe Cole's understudy.  Personally I'd go for Downing, but it is still nice to have two left-footed young Englishmen vying for a place.  Downing seems to be getting back to the form he was in before his long injury lay-off - taking on full backs with ease and delivering quality crosses.  Verdict: 8 out of 10 - a real prospect for the future and worth having on the bench in Germany

Although I'm fairly sure that the Riverside Stadium is not officially the Australian Embassy, it might as well be.  Socceroo number three is Mark Viduka.  A striker of undoubted quality who proved his worth during his time at Leeds United.  Injuries for both parties split up the promising partnership with Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, although they have both recently found fitness and form at the sniff of a trophy or two.  A big game player if ever there was one, Viduka should be firing on all cylinders in Germany. Verdict: between 6 and 8 out of 10 - depends who the opponents are.   

Rob Parker

Rooney's injured. F**k

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit.

That's ruined my frickin' weekend. Cheers, Paulo Ferreira - England has now been shafted by the Portuguese national coach and their right back, in the space of two days. The one ray of light is that Roo is reported to have boarded the Man U team coach after the match, so hopefully it's not a World Cup-threatening injury. Oh, and well done Chelsea. Can't argue with the league table.

Milan vs Barca: Second Leg Questions

After the Champions League semi-final first leg between Milan and Barcelona we we able to reach some conclusions.  But after the second leg we have been left with questions.

1. If you are one of the biggest teams in the world in a Champions league semi-final second leg you need to win, how can Jaap Stam be the best raiding full-back you can find?

2. Do AC Milan get a discount on the team coach as most of the occupants have bus passes?

3. What are the chances of Ronaldinho's free kicks all being that soft if Brazil play England in the World Cup?

Were you left with any questions?

Rob Parker

Bizarre Own Goal!

Bury fans. Look away now. This week has seen the best own goal. Ever.

[mofgimmers]

THAT Kevin Keegan interview

Honestly, be thankful that this giddy kipper isn't in the driving seat anymore. Sven, we love you really.

[mofgimmers]

Whatever happened to Tony Yeboah?

With Ghana taking part in their first World Cup finals this year I got thinking about a Ghanaian who made an impact in the Premiership while Michael Essien was still in short trousers.  Tony Yeboah - the man who made scoring off the crossbar an art form - took England by storm in 1995 with spectacular goals like this one (I'm sorry, were you expecting this one?) for Leeds United.

Tony will celebrate his 40th birthday in June (his date of birth, eerily, is 6/6/66!).  When he left Leeds in 1997 he moved back to Germany from whence he came, although he was back in Leeds for Lucas Radebe's testimonial last year.  Apparently he now owns a hotel in Ghana.

Yeboah never got to play in a World Cup but he will be represented in Germany by his nephew, USA wonderkid Freddy Adu. 

Rob Parker

Your club's stars: Arsenal

There will potentially be 14 Arsenal players at this summer's World Cup. There's actually enough variation with positions to make up an entire team from 'keeper to striker. So instead of doing the breakdown via country, we can do it via their places on the field, provided nobody objects – and if you do object it's too late because this piece has already been written…

Your club's World Cup stars: Arsenal

Keeper
Jens Lehmann (Germany) His form this season has been one of the consistent bright spots for Arsenal. He's been solid, dependable and seems to have left behind the mad moments which were becoming a bit of a trademark. He's helped the young, inexperienced defence achieve a new Champions League record for clean sheets and with old rival Oliver Kahn crumbling under the pressure of waiting for Klinnsman's decision it's no surprise he's been handed the number 1 shirt for Germany. The fact that he doesn't look like an albino gorilla helps too.

Defenders
Emmanuel Eboue (Ivory Coast) He looked a long way from being ready for Arsenal's first team but after a solid African Cup of Nations and injuries to Lauren and Kerrea Gilbert, he's been a revelation at right back. Needs to add some positional discipline to his play but his energy and willingness to get forward did much to blunt the offensive talents of players like Zidane, Robinho and Pavel Nedved. Still raw but has massive potential.

Kolo Toure (Ivory Coast) In the absence of anybody more senior, he's taken on the responsibility at the centre of Arsenal's defence. His sheer 100% commitment in every game is a joy and he makes some awesome tackles when you think it's just not possible. He's looked a bit tired in recent games but he has had an outstanding season for Arsenal and is a huge favourite with the Highbury faithful. It's just a shame he has to play in the same team as Didier Drogba.

Philippe Senderos (Switzerland) Emerged during the last few months of last season and was exceptional. Struggled a bit at the beginning of this season and maybe his confidence took a knock when he was dropped for Pascal Cygan. Didn't complain though and knuckled down. Came back into the team alongside Toure after Campbell's histrionics and has been excellent and part of the reason the defence has been so mean in Europe. Reads the game very well, strong in the air and in the tackle but could work on his distribution. Likely to be a starter for the Swiss.

Johan Djourou (Switzerland) Not 100% sure to travel but he is a player highly rated at Arsenal. Has played right back and in the centre of the defence. Very quick, very strong and one to watch. Should make the squad.

Sol Campbell (England) It hasn't been a happy season for Campbell. He's had injuries and his form has been distinctly average. His most memorable moment is having a nightmare half against West Ham then telling Arsene Wenger he didn't want to play the second half so a young Swedish midfielder had to come on in his place. He then skipped off to Belgium for the weekend to get his head right, swanned around the BAFTAs while his team were preparing to go to Madrid and finally deemed himself fit enough. Will probably be picked for his experience but is unlikely to be selected ahead of Terry, Ferdinand and maybe even Carragher when it comes to the crunch. Most Arsenal fans will be hoping he gets a run out at some stage and plays well enough to add a few quid to his price when he gets sold this summer.

Ashley Cole  (England) He should be picked but he hasn't played a lot of football this season. He broke his foot early in the season, came back, picked up a thigh injury then aggravated his foot again. Certainly England's best option at left back and he's likely to be fit enough to travel. His lack of match fitness might cause problems though.

Midfielders
José Antonio Reyes (Spain) He's had a decent enough season but there's just the feeling that Arsenal aren't really seeing what he's capable of. Or the worry is that we are seeing what he's capable of and it's not enough. Only 3 goals all season but he has 7 or 8 assists in the league. He seems to have lost the ability to run at and beat defenders which is a shame. Good long passing though and he seems to connect well with Torres. He should be a much better than he is though. He has pace, skill, a great shot and good vision but somehow fails to put it all together often enough.

Cesc Fabregas (Spain) After his display against Real Madrid in the Bernebeu every single Spanish sports paper called for his inclusion in Aragones' squad. Further eye-catching performances in Europe (particularly against Vieira at Highbury) and in the league have strengthened his position. He's now vital to Arsenal and does so much to make us play from midfield. It would be a major surprise if he wasn't selected but at 18 might feel the effects of a long season.

Gilberto (Brazil) We've seen two Gilbertos at Arsenal this season. One who is weak in the tackle, indecisive and gives the ball away too much and another who gets stuck in, breaks up play and gives the ball to someone like Fabregas who can do things with it. When it's the latter he's a real asset but is unlikely to be first choice for Brazil unless Emerson injures himself playing goalkeeper again. A squad pick though.

Freddie Ljungberg (Sweden) Another one who has had a disappointing domestic season by any standards. To date he hasn't scored in the league yet and only one goal in Europe is without his question his worst return to date in an Arsenal shirt. His role with the Swedish team allows him to play more central, rather than the wide midfield role which seems to be less and less comfortable for him at Arsenal. If he stays fit and can make those runs into the box which he is so good at then his experience will be good for Sweden.

Strikers
Robin van Persie (Holland) Went through a fantastic spell with 8 goals in 8 games earlier in the season but broke a toe and struggled for fitness. At the same time Adebayor has come in and started games that the young Dutchman probably would have. Capable of scoring outstanding goals and incredible moments of skill van Persie probably just needs to concentrate on being a little bit less individualistic. A great option to have on the bench for Holland though as he can come on with 15-20 minutes to go and make a difference.

Emmanuel Adebayor (Togo) Scored 11 goals in qualifying and was a major factor in Togo getting to their first World Cup. Had a bit of a run-in with the coach during the African Cup of Nations although this happened around the time of his move from Monaco to Arsenal so that may have been a distraction. Has been reasonably good for Arsenal but missing two absolute sitters against Portsmouth recently shows he can still improve.

Thierry Henry (France) What can you say about Thierry Henry? He's probably the best striker in the world right now. His pace is frightening, his skill amazing and his goalscoring is prolific. He's capable of tap ins, 30-yard rockets, free kicks and even the odd header. Not only that he's creative too and makes goals as well as scoring them. He'll want to make up for a massively disappointing World Cup in Japan/Korea where France didn't win a game and he was sent off in one. He's set to make a decision about his future before the tournament begins and every Arsenal fan has their fingers crossed he decides to lead the team out at the new stadium. My tip for top scorer.

So there you go. You could probably choose a team decent enough to have a crack at the trophy if they weren't all from different countries. As an Irishman I'm very neutral about the whole thing and I'm likely to support the team with the most Arsenal players in it. Which means the Ivory Coast. Except they have Didier Drogba so I can't do that.

I'll let beer decide. Enjoy.

By Arseblogger

Your club's World Cup stars: Manchester City

Manchester City boss Stuart Pearce has this week been publicly ruing the club's decision to sell one of their top World Cup hopefuls, Shaun Wright Phillips, last summer.  Whether that particular move has benfited either party this season is very debateable.  The £21 million transfer fee has eased City's debt problems, but it has made life more difficult on the pitch.  Wright Phillips, meanwhile, has largely been used as a substitute at Chelsea, which is how he will probably spend most of the World Cup with England.  Calls for him to replace David Beckham on the right-side of midfield have become a lot quiter since he left Eastlands.

What is certain is that this article is around a third shorter than it would have been.  It seems - excluding the sort of desperate injury scenario that could see Trevor Sinclair, Darius Vassell or, perhaps more interestingly, Joey Barton been called upon for England - the duo of David James and Claudio Reyna will complete City's World Cup quota.

Your club's World Cup stars: Manchester City

David James
A poor showing in England's 4-1 friendly defeat against Denmark back in August tested Sven's saint-like patience with David James a little too much.  He lost his berth as first-choice keeper and is now unlikely to win it back for too long unless Paul Robinson picks up a long-term injury (and he's too busy dishing them out for that).

What have we found out about David James this season?  Absolutely nothing new.  He is still one of the best shot-stoppers in the world and he is also still mad as a hatter.  Goalkeepers are a strange breed and James is certainly no different.  He has done little to dispel his 'Calamity James' tag.  The recent Manchester City game against Spurs was almost a microcosm of his entire career: he produced a string of saves to keep his side in the match but almost gifting Spurs the lead with a fluffed clearance.

You can never rest easy with James in goal because you know the next mistake is not too far away.  This example does not give a fair reflection of his goalkeeping, but it sums the guy up and, well, it's just plain funny!  Verdict: somewhere between 4 and 9 out of 10 - you never know what's going to happen

Claudio Reyna

USA skipper Claudio Reyna will be out to defend his place in the FIFA All-Star Team of the Tournament (snigger - it even sounds American!) in Germany.  Manchester City fans have not seen many 'all-star' performances from Reyna.  In fact, they haven't seen many performances of any description from him.  Reyna has suffered some nasty injuries since joining the club from Sunderland.  He played just 17 games last season, and has only gone one better this season.  Once he is on the pitch, Reyna is a reliable player who is unlikely to let any side down.  He will face stiff competition from Landon Dononvan and Freddy Adu to become FIFA's token American this time around though.  Verdict 6 out of 10 - dependable (depending on whether he is fit or not)

Rob Parker

Milan vs Barca: First Leg Conclusions

Due to our highly astute tactical awareness and excellent football brains, WaatB? is able to bring you some astounding in-depth observations on last night's Champions League semi-final first leg.

1. You have to watch Ronaldinho constantly for 90 minutes.

2. You are less likely to get a ticking off from the referee for walking off the pitch slowly when substituted if you do so with an enormous grin on your face.

3. Kakha Kaladze is overrated.

4. Victor Valdes' goal kicks found touch with such regularity that he could have a future in rugby.

5. Andres Iniesta (picutured) is the palest Spaniard ever.

The Bratwurst pickle: should Sol Campbell go to Germany?

Simple question, difficult to answer.

Big Sol hasn't played much this year - when he has, he's made even Pascal Cygan look good. I figure centre-half is the one area where England are as blessed as any nation, but I also take into account that Campbell has been consistently awesome at major tournaments.

He hasn't become a liability overnight - the media overplayed his little disappearing trick, when all that happened was he had a couple of dodgy games. No different to Rio Ferdinand then. I say take Sol, no question.

What say you?

That's torn it…

Thanks Bolton, nice one. Fergie will be loving you right now.

Chelski's 2-0 win at the Reebok means that the title race is effectively over. Well done Jose, Frank, JT et al - you may not have played the most attractive footie this season (stand up Arsenal and Man Utd), but you have been the most effective winning machine. Congrats - although as a neutral Premiership fan, I'd obviously have preferred another 'It's up for grabs now!' nailbiter.

Owen in Boots

Michael Owen has slipped into his football boots for the first time this year. He trained under the supervision of Toon physio Derek Wright. Good news for Newcastle and England fans alike.

However, let's not start planning the victory parade just yet: Owen's injury problems are depressingly similar to David Beckham's before the last World Cup - Beckham wasn't 100% fit in Korea/Japan and there's no way Owen will be fully match-fit in time for Germany, even if he has played a couple of club games before the end of the Prem season. Darren Bent, get packing.

Future England manager?

Is that you Sven? Of course not. It's the brightest smile in English football, Steve McClaren. Not to be confused with Sex Pistols manager, Malcolm McLaren of course.

The readers of The Guardian have been having a bit of a wheeze with old Stevie boy, and essentially making various claims on his and Sven's relationship, and of course, his prospects for the national job. See what you think in the fans' gallery.

Mof Gimmers

Your Player of the Year?

With the club season reaching a climax, it's almost time to hand out the end-of-term awards. The shortlist for the PFA Player of the Year (the one voted for by the pros) was recently announced, with few surprises:

Wayne Rooney (Man Utd)
John Terry (Chelsea)
Joe Cole (Chelsea)
Thierry Henry (Arsenal)
Frank Lampard (Chelsea)
Steven Gerrard (Liverpool)

Your Player of the Year? cont…

The fact there are five England first-teamers in the running is, on the face of it, an encouraging sign for England's hopes this summer. But will the English players be so knackered after another season in the trenches that their form suffers in Germany? Time will tell, but I can't imagine Steven Gerrard will be anything like as fresh come June 2006 as he was, say, in October 2005.

Returning to that list, my vote would go to Wayne Rooney - for one so young to be so consistently brilliant in a team of international stars is just a stunning achievement. Thierry Henry's all-round genius gives him my second-place vote above Joe Cole, who has been a revelation this season, despite his form dipping a little in the past few weeks.

Terry and Lampard have been admirably steady, although I'm a little concerned about Lampard's form since the start of the year. And Gerrard? Well, brilliant player but I would have put a couple of other players above him in the pecking order, namely Darren Bent (outstanding in a mediocre team) and Jean-Alain Boumsong (only joking).

Who do you think deserves to be Player of the Year?

Your club's stars: Newcastle Utd

It probably tells you everything you need to know about Newcastle’s horrendous season that the club will have at most four representatives in Germany, three of whom have been injured for most of the season and a further one who shouldn’t be playing in the Premiership, let alone going to the World Cup. Emre’s Turkey lost out in controversial circumstances to Switzerland in the play-offs and Scott Parker’s already slim chances of making the trip seem to have been ended by illness.

Your club's stars: Newcastle Utd

We might as well start with the moaning. Jean Alain Boumsong is likely to be named in the France squad (they obviously can’t get Match of the Day over there). At £8.5 million, the centre-back gives the phrase ‘transfer flop’ a bad name. Boumsong has had almost 18 months to settle at St James’ Park, but still reduces the defence to calamity on a regular basis. He has a turning circle like the Titanic and was not only outplayed but bullied by Cheltenham Town’s Kayode Odejayi, who was made to look like a world class striker in the FA Cup this season. What’s worse, he has a bad influence on the already error-prone Titus Bramble, and insists they form a slapstick duo. Only the excellent Shay Given – who deserves to be at the World Cup – has prevented Boumsong’s dodgy reputation from being further tarnished. Togo, Switzerland and South Korea will be licking their lips if Boumsong’s name appears on the team-sheet. Verdict: 3 out of 10 – come to your senses Monsieur Domenech

With probably four games at most under his belt at the start of the tournament, Michael Owen should be the second Newcastle player at the World Cup. The worry with Owen is that the dodgy hamstring might return at some point, and if nursing another injury he will be more prone than ever. What the Geordie faithful have seen of Owen has been promising, but there has been far too little of it. I always get the impression that Owen is far more savvy than he lets on. I wouldn’t be surprised if behind the scenes moves are being made to secure Champions League football for Owen for next season, but would love to see him stay put. The beauty of the festival of football that is the World Cup is that if England progress anywhere near as far as we would like, Owen should be able to play himself into fitness and hopefully form. Verdict: 8 out of 10 - we all know what he is capable of

Another World Cup hopeful we have seen little of is Craig Moore of Australia. Signed on a free transfer from Borussia Monchengladbach in the summer, the former Rangers skipper has only recently regained fitness. In his brief spell in the team he has looked understandably rusty and it is difficult to reach much of a conclusion based on his handful of games. However, the Socceroo deserves praise if only for separating Boumsong and Bramble. Moore could have his work cut out if he plays a part in the Aussies’ World Cup debut. Japan and Croatia will prove tricky opponents at least, while the boys from Brazil will be provide yet another step up in class for a side which normally gets its kicks from thumping Fiji. Verdict: 6 out of 10 – better ask the physio

Kieron Dyer does have an outside chance of making the squad, but a lack of matches and fitness may count against him. Although a regular England squad member under Eriksson, Dyer has made only a few more appearances for Newcastle than Moore this campaign. With Dyer sidelined, Kieran Richardson, Michael Carrick, Jermaine Jenas (spit) and maybe, on recent form, even Aaron Lennon have pushed him down the pecking order. Unstoppable on his day, Dyer is an experienced option if injuries rule out Eriksson’s preferred choices. Unfortunately Dyer’s own injury problems are never too far away. Verdict: 6 out of 10 – a beautiful sight in full flight but unlikely to be on the plane

The Bratwurst pickle: God over the hill at 31?

Rafa Benitez has sent a clear message to Robbie Fowler that the player's future at Liverpool is far from secure: 'Robbie is top class, no doubt about it, but you also need pace and stamina levels if you want to win trophies…' Which translates roughly as, 'Robbie hasn't looked after himself quite as well as Teddy Sheringham…' All this uncertainty must be mental torture for Fowler, who has been in good form since his return to Anfield. Benitez is obviously fishing for a younger, fitter Fowler replacement, so my advice to Robbie would be lay off the sauce and hit the gym.

What say you? Should God get a new Liverpool contract?